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Gender-blind, & waiting for the 'one'.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by HakunaMatata, Apr 20, 2011.

  1. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    Okay, I didn’t think I’d be posting again. But, this is something I wanted to see what others said. Most people are just not like this whatsoever, and it’s really frustrating that I am. And, so I’m like aah, I’ll never fine the one because it’s pretty impossible when everyone is all about ‘sex’.
    Don’t get me wrong, I will be craving sex as I already do, however, I just can’t get into my head that others either see sex as a big deal, and others have slept with people previously. It’s a pretty icky thing.
    I’m not religious either, so yeah, all religious people are people I could fit in with, oh wait they’re religious.
    So, I’m looking to know if there’s a word, or a website to point me into the right direction. What? I’m lonely & believe love my cure my suicidal thoughts.
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Don't give up hope.

    I am sure "the one" will come along soon enough.
  3. Pebbles1726

    Pebbles1726 Member

    Is the term your looking for Asexual?

    Just note that there are different forms of asexuality, Just because your asexual dosen't mean your a-romantic
  4. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    Nope. I'm right with my term. However, i'm waiting until i have sex.
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Not everybody else has previously had sex or see it is a big deal. A lot of people are, yes. But there are others out there like you, too. You shouldn't throw everyone into the same group just because the vast majority act a certain way.

    Personally, the thought of casual sex in general pretty much turns me off. I always find it so baffling when I find out someone I know has had sex, even though I really shouldn't because they're in their late teens and most people these days have sex for the first time well before that point in their life.

    People should wait for love before they have sex. I find it repulsive that people are willing to degrade themselves just for a few minutes of pleasure.

    Not sure on websites, terms, etc., to describe these kinds of thoughts. I guess you could just say we're prudes?

    (Sorry if I assumed anything in my response - I'm just guessing from your opening post that we're on the same page here)
  6. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    I don't see how you got the impression i was 'throwing everyone into the same group'.

    Seems where are on the same page though. For me, i can really push those kind of people away once i find out. I also feel a bit of a hypocrite, after all i'm a guy.

    I dunno, it's really complicated for me. I'm also scared of sex. Like i'll always think what if... i'm not doing a good job?

    I know sex shouldn't be everything, but it's tough when so many seem think it's quite an important thing. And, i can see why it is too.

    Don't be silly, no need to be sorry.

    Edit:- You're from London. This is a surprise, ha.
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    My apologies then. I read "I’ll never fine the one because it’s pretty impossible when everyone is all about ‘sex’" and it kinda got me a little riled because I'm not at all like that myself and really dislike it when people I know accuse me of lying about it just because it's against the 'norm'.

    I know what you mean. I tend to look at them in a different way once presented with that kind of information and see them as a bad, immoral person, which is probably a little unfair.

    Yeah, sex is pretty scary stuff. I've never done it before but I can imagine how awkward it must be the first time around. I can't comprehend why anybody would ever be comfortable sharing that experience with just anyone.

    My location is a suprise? How come? I see you're a fellow Brit!
  8. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    my "one" ! is never ever going to be mine. hes with the girl heloves probably ******* and kissing in the shower giving her **** and ******* her ****** with hickies all over. and im stuck here crying on this **** forum. no offense to anyone here. but **** :blub:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2011
  9. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    im sorry for that outburst. op, i believe you will find someone perfect for you. dont give up hope
  10. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    I dont understand your post.
    Yout think that people are overly sexualised and have had sex before meeting you?
    Welcome to earth! People have always been sexual beings and I dont think it will change so dont expect to find a virgin on a shinning white horse. It does not matter that they have had sex before as long as they are nice and kind people...and, most importantly, love you.

    I prefer someone that has had lots of sex partners prior to meeting me than someone that will have it after meeting me!!!!
  11. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    Ha, I probably should have said the vast majority then(?). Upon creating this thread I was rushing/not caring of it, it was just a thing on my mind so I went for it. I don’t usually go back over what I write & it leads to me getting people confused.

    Lol, I so do that too. If it’s something I dislike, then I just don’t think they get on with me.

    It sucks more for a guy. I mean it is possible a guy is not doing a great job, lol. Unfortunately, people do talk about their first time & their sex life.

    Well come-on! Teenagers here, if you’re, are all about sex & drinking. -.-

    What makes you feel she’s the one? I don’t believe she’s the one for you. I’m sorry, but to me it takes a lot of time before I’d class someone as liking liking, and then even more time before I see them as the one.

    No need to be sorry. I'll try not giving up hope, but i just don't see it happening for me. Probably cause i'd be asking for so much from her/him.

    Find a new fish, i don't think she's your one.

    Correction, Kieron.

    I think my original post didn't explain fully. Avarice's follow up seemed to put what i was thinking to words better. Well, those people are plain idiots. I don't care what you say, i don't think it's right. Sorry.
  12. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    True. A guy has a lot more expectations to cope with than a girl. It's also seen a lot more unusal for a guy to think that way than a girl because he's well.. a guy.

    To be honest, the whole sex, drugs, drinking, clubs stuff is just seriously a pointless waste of time and money, if you ask me. I hate how hard it is to find friends at this age when most of them are into crap like that.

    I think you'll have an easier time than you think finding the right person, though. There are a fair few girls out there who want nothing more than a guy who will care about and respect her, without being hungry for sex all of the time. The problem is finding one who is mature enough not to want to party it up all of the time.
  13. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    I can understand that there are people that want to wait for love and affection before committing to sex, thats fine especially if your in your teens, if I had a daughter I would expect that from her, however I would assume that you also agree that parents should prepare their children for what they should expect to find out there (in the real world) and be very open about sex. I think it should be left to the individual to decide when and how they want to experience sex and develop their own sexuality. I can understand that sex for you is a bigger taboo than for most people of your age (I think in your teens) and as long as this does not develop into some sort of repression be it self inflicted or by the influence of others then thats fine.
    You should also be understanding towards other people that have made a different choice to yours.
  14. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    You wonder why I have friends online… I don’t mind drinking occasionally; I rarely rarely do it though.
    You’re kidding me right? I’m living in England, no offense. < Not that it's different anywhere else, it just seems that bad here.

    I can understand that a parent would do that. I still can’t comment on being understanding towards others, sorry.
  15. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I don't wonder that at all. I fully understand that it is significantly easier to make and maintain friendships online.

    I never said it'd be easy, just easier than you may think. England is pretty bad, yes, I get where you're coming from, but I know that there are a fair few people out there looking for someone who possesses the same qualities as you do.

    You shouldn't give up. I know a lot of people say this, but you're still young and have more than enough time to find someone special. Problem with finding people in a romantic sense at our age is that most of them are too immature to handle the commitment and dedication of a serious relationship. Once they grow up and out of their party animal life style they'll be crying out for guys like you, while all the other guys are still trying to make their way through the entire female population.
  16. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    Lol, I didn’t really mean that you wondered that; just a matter of speaking. Odd as it is, I have all online friends, some are closer than others, but no matter what we always talk every so often or with the close ones a whole lot more.

    Yeah, I don’t doubt that there are. I mean outside of England increases my chances xD. Sorry, I’ve literally never known someone from England like this. I’m not just talking about local people either; I’ve meet tons of people up and down the UK from many sites, and believe it or not one out of ‘hundred’ have seen it my way.

    I’d rather give up. I think I may be asking for too much. As I’m also asking that they would share common interests & even understand me with depression :/. Can they handle it too? I dunno, one for sure is that I need to cut back searching online.

    Ha, to your last few sentences :).
  17. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I get where you're coming from completely with the whole "I might be asking for too much" thing. The chances of finding someone that shares that much in common with you are slim, but at the very least keep an open mind. It's always the way that once you stop looking for love, it oftentimes finds you first.

    What is it that makes you think that people outside of England will be any different? I'm not slating your view, I'm interested in why that is.

    I used to think along the same lines; that people outside of England were better; more innocent and pure-minded because of the language barrier and the fact that they must think differently to us. After dating someone from a different country who had English as a second language I realised I was wrong. He two-timed, cheated and lied to me just like an English person could have done. Needless to say, I no longer think that way.
  18. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    I think I can accept the person if they have other interests, but it would be nice to have a few. After all I’d be able to try their things and hopefully like too. Yeah, I doubt I can stop looking, I’m always looking :/

    England, I think you should know that we’re now the worst in Europe when it comes to teenage pregnancies & drinking. Correct me if I’m wrong, they said it on GMTV! But, yeah I’ve known hundreds of people from England, and haven’t run into a person who’s waiting (Probably don’t help these people are online & I hardly go out). Yet, I’ve gotten a greater ratio of people who are waiting outside of England. Americans, they seem more religious. Philippines, they have some solid traditions there apparently.

    Aww, sorry to hear that. Yeah, I’m not really trying to say people outside are better than people here, but I am saying I’ve personally come across people that are into waiting outside of the UK, mainly because they’re religious. Yet, though whole long distance would probably totally get to me.

    I hate being complicated & I hate not being able to write, so people can understand.
  19. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'd heard that too (about us being the worst in the EU for drinking and teenage pregnancies). The amount of girls from my old high school class that now have children is disgusting.

    The long distance thing is indeed a pretty big issue; especially since flights and accommodation don't come cheap.

    I suppose I get what you mean about the lack of people willing to wait in this country. We're essentially known as a binge-drinking nation, which doesn't exactly bode well for us.

    Way I see it though, whatever will happen, will happen. The best you can do is prepare yourself to be the best possible person you can be for when the right person comes along. If you can, try work on your depression and other issues; chip away at the reasons for someone not to be with you so that more people will find you interesting and date-able.
  20. HakunaMatata

    HakunaMatata Well-Known Member

    I was beginning to believe you went to a private/all girl school. Yeah, no difference with the school stuff here.

    I’m not saying I’m perfect though, I have done things. But, I will admit I hanged with the wrong crowd & mistakes were made.

    Spot on there, lol.

    That’s why I’m seeing a therapist. I’m not patient, but I’m going to have to bite my lip on this one.