gender identity issues?

Discussion in 'The Uncertainty Principle' started by september, Dec 1, 2006.

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  1. september

    september New Member

    My whole life, Ive always hated myself and I've always felt worthless because I'm a girl.
    I think being a girl is embarassing.

    Sometimes I will be watching tv or doing some standard daily chore, and the fact that I'm a girl will cross my mind and I'll just break down and cry.

    I've been a theoretical boy my whole life so I dont know how to be a girl. And now that I'm an adult being a girl who acts like a boy seems to be frowned upon.

    Then on top of that I dont even look like a girl. and it's not that I dont wear girl clothes or makeup its just that i've been sitiophobic/anorexic for so long nobody makes clothes that fit me. I have no boobs or ass, which is fine with me. Because I think they're ugly anyway. But other people dont seem to feel the same way. all my clothes hang weird and dont fit right because I dont fill them out.
    And when I go shopping I find myself wondering if really skinny boys have the same problem.

    The only guys that hit on me are gay.
    And of course once they hear me talk and realize I'm actually a girl I get "omg, I thought you were a boy! i'm sorry!"
    Which is either extremely amusing or extremely insulting depening on my mood.
    Straight guys dont want to date me because I'm "one of the boys"
    And I generally just feel like shit all the time.
    I have no place and sometimes i have a hard time dealing with it.
    i cant talk about it because nobody understands how i feel and its too hard to explain.

    I tried to go to bed tonight at 1am but I coudln't sleep and I can't beleive it is now 5:53 am and i'm still up thinking about this.

    anyway, i guess i was just curious to see if anyone else hates their gender.

    this turned out longer than i wanted it to be.
     
  2. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Yes I also hate my gender. Not able to write a good reply right now, but I will later. And I'm happy to talk with you about this if you want...
     
  3. AliveAndAwake

    AliveAndAwake Active Member

    sorry about your grief september, wish i could take it away from you and add it to my own collection of pain.
     
  4. Nevermore

    Nevermore Active Member

    being a guy isn't all that great either

    and yea..skinny boys have that problem to a certain extent
     
  5. smackh2o

    smackh2o Well-Known Member

    I have not got a clue what I am. A freak probably. But coming from the opinion of me, girls are very beautiful compared to guys. But guys are generally more pragmatic and simple which means no nonsense fun. Maybe a bit of both does your personality justice and everyone is just jealous of you. Because girls can be a pain in the arse because a lot of women are just not very direct. And guys are bloody annoying because they can be too stupid and gungho without thinking about things logically. Sterotypically that is.
    It's amazing how the human race survived.
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Boys have a LOT to learn from girls, that much I can tell you. I love how more sensitive, caring, group oriented girls are whereas boys always have to be manly,tough, callous, independent, etc.
     
  7. Justaperson

    Justaperson Guest

    I think I may have this problem too. I think that I wouldn't be as I am if I were a boy. I don't think I would have the issues that I have if I were a boy. I have a severely, irrational fear of getting pregnant. If I were to get pregnant by accident I would kill myself. I have taken the morning after pill 6 times despite each time already being on the pill and using a condom. I think really, it's just easier not to have sex.

    But then sometimes I like being a girl. I like things that girls like. I act like a girl sometimes.

    But I like things that boys like. I am always "one of the lads" too....always have been. I play up to it because it's usually the only way boys will actually talk to me. None are romantically interested in me whatsoever.....because I'm one of the lads, because i'm ugly, because I'm fat and because there are so many other better girls out there. Sometimes I have dreams and I'm nearly always a boy in them. I play out scenes and scenarios in my head and I almost always a boy in them. I have no idea why. I am a fraud, a liar and a fake.

    Having said all that though I would never go through with any surgery or anything like that. And I would never tell this to anyone that knows me.
     
  8. Porcelain

    Porcelain Well-Known Member

    I typed the above. I don't know why I didn't type as myself. I suppose because it's embarassing for me to admit these things. I have never actually voiced these concerns and I find it difficult. I am not a good person really.
     
  9. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Two years ago i seriously was considering a sex change as a possiblility for my future, I've had a serious girlfriend since then and the ida of having a sex change has worn off slightly, plus the fact that i'm broad shouldered and tall.... although i do sometimes think if i was given the oppertunity to be a proper woman without any hassle i'd take it... who knows.

    Oh and also I watched some science thing a while ago where they'd done autopsies on the brains of sex change people and a certain part of their brain was a lot more like their desired sex than their birth sex, possibly showing that they were actually trapped in another body.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2006
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