So... Where do I start? I have a loving family, I am pretty well off and I do have a few good friends. So you ask, what the hell is your problem? My reply instinctively would be 'I dont know actually' but ill give it a shot. Im currently at University and I sit here in my room with a bloody good view, I get to see the sun rise and the sun set from 20 floors up. Yes I have 'tried' to commit to the deadly deed more than once, but Im afraid. Not so much of death but of being forgotten. I'm not asking for statues and medals just the 'Oh I remember him' with a accompanied smile. So back to the main point. I just don't fit in, anywhere. In the street, when I'm going about my day, people make eye contact with me and I smile casually, but they look at me like I'm some kind of serial killer. I am a nice guy and I enjoy doing good deeds, as I'm a massive believer in Karma. Two examples, after one of my pethetic attempts of the 'deadly deed' I drove about trying to take my mind off things and I saw a hitch hiker, the weather was bad and I was in no hurry. So I picked him up where he asked me to take him as far I was going, I let it be known I was just driving aimlessly but offered to take him all the way to his destination, he thanked me telling me because of my actions he would be able to get back to his family and see them as his job meant he had to hitch hike alot as he delivered cars.
My other example and forgive my rambling (this is more for my benifit). I went down town to the nightclubs and on the way out I saw someone in distress. They lost their friend and all their money, so I offered to take a taxi with them (bearing in mind it was a long way and I got ripped off) and made sure they got back alright as they were a drunk to high hell. To shorten the story, basically I sent them a message the next day to see if they were alright and It was as if I was some wierdo, No thanks, no nothing really, I wasnt looking for my actions to be glorified just acknowledged with a simple 'Hey that was nice'. So my main point is that whatever I do I just don't fit in. This world is messed up, the people who inhabit its towns and cities are just looking out for themselves, and I wish humanity all the luck in the future, I really do. I only ask that you know that I tried but there's just so much bad left in the world. But I guess at the end of the day people will say my name with disgust and say I was weak.
Again I apologise for my rambling. But next time, I may just do something stupid, and even in my death I want to help others. So to the Dr's take what you may and burn the rest.
My other example and forgive my rambling (this is more for my benifit). I went down town to the nightclubs and on the way out I saw someone in distress. They lost their friend and all their money, so I offered to take a taxi with them (bearing in mind it was a long way and I got ripped off) and made sure they got back alright as they were a drunk to high hell. To shorten the story, basically I sent them a message the next day to see if they were alright and It was as if I was some wierdo, No thanks, no nothing really, I wasnt looking for my actions to be glorified just acknowledged with a simple 'Hey that was nice'. So my main point is that whatever I do I just don't fit in. This world is messed up, the people who inhabit its towns and cities are just looking out for themselves, and I wish humanity all the luck in the future, I really do. I only ask that you know that I tried but there's just so much bad left in the world. But I guess at the end of the day people will say my name with disgust and say I was weak.
Again I apologise for my rambling. But next time, I may just do something stupid, and even in my death I want to help others. So to the Dr's take what you may and burn the rest.
