Genuine advice needed...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shub11, Jan 4, 2012.

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  1. shub11

    shub11 Banned Member

    Hi all
    Sorry to trouble you guys in this new year but I needed some advice

    1. I am financial not successful , I have a job but its not good enough for me to offord moderate life style with a wife and kids
    2. I am not good enough to change the situatation
    3. I am looser
    4. i am not attractive and an introvert.


    Looking at all these thinks , do you guys advice me to marry ?

    i am planning to remain bachelor all my life .... because I can't afford a married life ..
    So is this possible ?
     
  2. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    ((Shub)), it's no trouble at all! We are all here to support one another and ask for support when we need it. I think that if you want to find love and get married at some point, there is no reason you can't. Happy relationships aren't built on one partner's ability to support the other, but on the desire and commitment by both partner's to support each other. I think that items 2, 3 and the first part of item 4 sound more like self-esteem issues than concrete descriptives. I think it would be a good idea to try to elminate words/terms like "loser", "not good enough" and "not attractive" from your vocabulary as much as possible, and strive to discover what is good in you (and there are so many good things in you, whether you know it or not). There are many potential partners out there who struggle with the same issues that you do. I'm not terribly familiar with online dating, but I have had friends who have found good and lasting relationships that way. Sending hugs and friendship, Shub...T :console:
     
  3. shub11

    shub11 Banned Member

    Thx man you are such a nice human to take trouble to reply incessantly to so many post thx budyy....

    Just a point of differnece of view b/w what u wrote and I feel

    See u r saying this is a ques of self esteem....any third person wud say so ... but I have tried 28 years of my life to be successful ...but i am not...and as of now I do not see any reason as to why this would change...some people are meant to be loosers ...everyone cant succeed on this planet ....Survival of the Fittest is the Maxim ...there is no place on this world for loosers .... so they have to fight and survive .. but this world doesnt approve of it ..it wants to live their way ...if you dont have a big salary a decnt house , decent spouse, money , friends , you are of no use .. Hence I have decided to take leave of everything .... LOVE can change all of my views ..but no money no love ... this is one more ugly truth ...oviously why wud anyone relate to a looser ...

    Anyways thx for the support ..hope I cud muster enough courage to survive and face this world ..face my parents...and most importantly face life
     
  4. shub11

    shub11 Banned Member

    I am sorry to bug u guys again but I can find no other sources of advice . I live in a third world country (India) and no good phsycatrists available here. So just wanna discuss something with you guys..

    1. Over the past few days i have pondered and decided that I want to settle , to get married and have kids.

    2. OK now the issue is for all this you need lots of money , I am scarce on that front .

    3. If I do not marry now(in an year or so...) I would never be able to do that

    4. Somehow my happiness is linked to money , the more I have the better I will feel .. so what to do Money is right now the most important variable in my life , no money no wife no money no kids

    5. I have a way which will probably augment my income , but needs a lot of super hard work (I have to study like a Kid all over again with my job ) that would not go down well with my friends and parents they might think I am an idiot to study at this age (28) ..
     
  5. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    Try changing your thought, from no money no wife no money no kids, to with love I will have both. Both my parents travelled to the US, with nothing, through love achieved many wonderful things, they were married for 32 years, before my father passed.

    Truth is, we all love money. Money is not the root to all happiness, love is :hug:
     
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Maybe you need to focus more on the goal than the means to get there right now?

    Naturally you need to work on said means to reaching your goals, but you need to go one step at a time.
     
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