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Geting sick of it

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kiba, Mar 26, 2011.

  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Living on the edge
    Struggling to survive

    Hunger and pain
    wanting to hide

    Trying to hold on
    Trying to be strong

    Missing you all so much
    My mind a big mush

    Tired of nothing
    wanting to do something

    Worrying of others
    Spending time with my brothers

    Wanting to look forward
    Holding on for hope

    Trying to break my streak of suicide
    And holding on as best I can

    So hard when all you have is sitting here
    On the computer breathing

    Wishing you had the money to even eat sometimes
    Wondering how anyone can survive on this

    And I just get sick of it..

    Sick of the hunger
    Sick of the loneliness

    Tired of the pain
    Wishing it all be better

    Just tired of nothing
    Tired of loss, tired of worry

    Re-living my past
    How long can I last?

    Living on hardly any food
    Doing nothing but staring at a screen

    Wishing I had the money to just have fun
    Wishing I didn't feel so sick

    Wanting to eat, then feeling too bad to
    And wanting to sleep, but not really

    What is the point?
    I mean I see things can change

    What is my purpose?
    That I don't know

    I sit here frustrated and alone
    Hungry and tired
    Worried and scared

    I feel isolated and sick..
    I don't want to die..

    Feels so overwhelming
    So what is there I can do...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun you are doing the right thing
    you are posting all those thoughts that are overwhelming here so they are not staying inside your head
    Keep posting okay hugs to you:hugtackles:
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thanks :hug: Just so much right now. Just going out to get something at the store really quick is overloading me with the people moving, light, and sound. I'm excited about going to work with horses, but it seems like it's taking forever to get there.. Meanwhile I need to try and occupy my time somehow..

    I think the best thing right now is a lot of distraction. And talking about things when I can. But it's kind of hard to talk about at times. Some of the things are still very hurtful to me and I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about. They all kinda have to do with this time of year.

    Anyway, I'm trying hard to hold on and stay positive. It's such a mixed feeling right now and it's getting difficult. But it could be worse. So I'm doing well right now. :)
  4. AlopexAngel

    AlopexAngel Chat Buddy

    Glad you're feeling better. Hang in there. THe horses need you. Sorry, I'm not much good with words but I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi you i hope you get to looking after those horses soon Some have such characters they do. Keep positing okay i know my mind sometimes takes me everywhere and your right distraction is the best thing hugs to you
  6. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    keep posting- we'll get you through this