Geting sick of it

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Kiba

Well-Known Member
#1
Living on the edge
Struggling to survive

Hunger and pain
wanting to hide

Trying to hold on
Trying to be strong

Missing you all so much
My mind a big mush

Tired of nothing
wanting to do something

Worrying of others
Spending time with my brothers

Wanting to look forward
Holding on for hope

Trying to break my streak of suicide
And holding on as best I can

So hard when all you have is sitting here
On the computer breathing

Wishing you had the money to even eat sometimes
Wondering how anyone can survive on this

And I just get sick of it..

Sick of the hunger
Sick of the loneliness

Tired of the pain
Wishing it all be better

Just tired of nothing
Tired of loss, tired of worry

Re-living my past
How long can I last?

Living on hardly any food
Doing nothing but staring at a screen

Wishing I had the money to just have fun
Wishing I didn't feel so sick

Wanting to eat, then feeling too bad to
And wanting to sleep, but not really

What is the point?
I mean I see things can change

What is my purpose?
That I don't know

I sit here frustrated and alone
Hungry and tired
Worried and scared

I feel isolated and sick..
I don't want to die..

Feels so overwhelming
So what is there I can do...
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#2
Hun you are doing the right thing
you are posting all those thoughts that are overwhelming here so they are not staying inside your head
Keep posting okay hugs to you:hugtackles:
 

Kiba

Well-Known Member
#3
Thanks :hug: Just so much right now. Just going out to get something at the store really quick is overloading me with the people moving, light, and sound. I'm excited about going to work with horses, but it seems like it's taking forever to get there.. Meanwhile I need to try and occupy my time somehow..

I think the best thing right now is a lot of distraction. And talking about things when I can. But it's kind of hard to talk about at times. Some of the things are still very hurtful to me and I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about. They all kinda have to do with this time of year.

Anyway, I'm trying hard to hold on and stay positive. It's such a mixed feeling right now and it's getting difficult. But it could be worse. So I'm doing well right now. :)
 

AlopexAngel

Chat Buddy
SF Supporter
#4
Glad you're feeling better. Hang in there. THe horses need you. Sorry, I'm not much good with words but I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
 

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#5
Hi you i hope you get to looking after those horses soon Some have such characters they do. Keep positing okay i know my mind sometimes takes me everywhere and your right distraction is the best thing hugs to you
 
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