Getting a divorce....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Henri, May 9, 2010.

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  1. Henri

    Henri Member

    My wife left me and took 2 of my children. The oldest one is with me. I know my oldest son needs me but I cant seem to shake these suicidal thoughts I have. This past weekend my son was with mom. I knew i wanted to make some attempt to end it all but I couldnt. There are many reasons why I shouldnt kill myself. My children and I dont want to put my family through the devastation. How do I get rid of the feelings. I have panic attacks with uncontrollable crying. Ive been to treatment and group therapy which helped but the bad feelings get triggered by things i used to do with my complete family. Ive been dating someone lately who I really like, but Im afraid to tell her about my issues for fear she might leave. Im a skilled musician with the ability to play thoughts out of my mind but that doesnt work all the time. Maybe I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be alright. My ex is trying to destroy me which doesnt help my depression. She never had an enemy in the world until she met her new girlfriend. Yes, girlfriend. Now that my wife has had this identity change shes out to destroy all men starting with me. I wish I had my old wife back. I wish I was stronger. I wish I didnt want to kill myself. I wish none of this happend.
  2. Georgy

    Georgy Account Closed

    I'm so sorry for your struggle Henri - everything will be ok...Maybe take it moment by moment. Enjoy your girlfriend and hopes for the future (with her)?

    People can be nasty at times. Particularly during a divorce. Don't let that beat you down.

    One word of advice - I don't know how long you've been with your girlfriend but, maybe wait a little before talking to her about your suicidal ideation? People who haven't been through it have a tough time understanding it. It can be scary.

    I hope you'll be ok. sometimes, it is really just about living moment by moment.
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I cant pretend to know how it feels to go through what you have, I just wanted to say this:

    You have children that need your love and attention, that you clearly love to pieces too, and you have a girlfriend that loves and cares for you.

    It sucks your ex is trying to destroy you, but gather the strength from those around you, and realise what you have now. And hopefully you can find a way to deal with all that is going in.
  4. alloutoftears

    alloutoftears Account Closed

    Hi Henri

    Glad you made it here, hopefully some of our words will help if only a little.

    IMO your son who is with you needs to see you being strong, please don't hurt yourself, he will never ever recover (i know i have been there and it still gets to me).

    Might i suggest that you share your musical talent with him, you probably do already, the bond you have will ultimately save you both.

    As for your wife, i really don't know what to say but i'm so sorry that you have had to experience this, it sucks, it really does.

    From experience if you are going through hell the best thing to do is to keep going, i'm not saying for an instant that thing will be easy but the will improve over time.

    Please don't be harsh on yourself you are a father and your kids will need your
    advice and presence in their life for many years to come.

    I wish you all the strength that you will need to come through this hurt.

    Never back down and never give up
  5. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    You're in a tough place right now, it's normal that you would be. It takes a while to feel better after you're divorced. My parents divorced a while ago and it was hard on my dad too, who did not get any of his children. His two eldest even stopped seeing him. He had to move in with his sister for a few months because he had nowhere to go. But it's been a while and he's better. Him and my mom actually get along now and he comes over often to help with the house or just to eat or whatever. He's also on good terms with one of my older siblings now.

    Anyways what I'm saying is that things might seem awful now, but if you give it time your circumstances will improve. Believe me, it took several years, but if my mom and my dad can get along now, I'm sure any divorced couple can.
  6. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    After my brother's death, I grew wrinkles got sick and my triglycerides were over 400. I started running 3 years later and look younger, have more energy, sleep better, and less depressed. It's not a cure all. But it has affected my life.
  7. Henri

    Henri Member

    Thanks a bunch for the replies you guys. Im in tears right now trying to survive this moment. You guys are making it it easier. Thank God for this forum.
  8. lonercarrot

    lonercarrot Well-Known Member

    I found out that my dad bought an audio cassette about divorce, coping with being seperated from your children and whatnot. I never spoke to him about it so I don't know if it helped him, but you can probably buy books or cds that might help you.
  9. LotusFlower

    LotusFlower Antiquities Friend

    I am glad you found this place. I know that it has helped me hang in there tons of times.
    I can't imagine what you are going through, but your right your children do need you. I know it is one of those old sayings but sometimes it works for me. If I can just make it through, this minute, this hour, this day, maybe tomorrow will be better. I know its not great but sometimes it helps you just get past the point of where you think you are going to do something.
  10. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Hey Henri, I'm sorry you're in pain. There's a lot of pain out there and we what it feels like here. I wish there was something I could say. It gets easier you know? I mean most things do. People adapt. You just got to hang in there.
  11. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    Hey there Henri, I can't really say more than what has been said already, but
    just to let you know that I am thinking of you and know that there is a way forward for you and your kids and your girlfriend..........
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