My wife left me and took 2 of my children. The oldest one is with me. I know my oldest son needs me but I cant seem to shake these suicidal thoughts I have. This past weekend my son was with mom. I knew i wanted to make some attempt to end it all but I couldnt. There are many reasons why I shouldnt kill myself. My children and I dont want to put my family through the devastation. How do I get rid of the feelings. I have panic attacks with uncontrollable crying. Ive been to treatment and group therapy which helped but the bad feelings get triggered by things i used to do with my complete family. Ive been dating someone lately who I really like, but Im afraid to tell her about my issues for fear she might leave. Im a skilled musician with the ability to play thoughts out of my mind but that doesnt work all the time. Maybe I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be alright. My ex is trying to destroy me which doesnt help my depression. She never had an enemy in the world until she met her new girlfriend. Yes, girlfriend. Now that my wife has had this identity change shes out to destroy all men starting with me. I wish I had my old wife back. I wish I was stronger. I wish I didnt want to kill myself. I wish none of this happend.