getting all set

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chrism67, Mar 13, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Getting all set. I am writting my letters now. Ive been in therapy. And ive been on meds but right now im not. And my symptoms are all over. My head is cloudy my thoughts are scrambled and my mind is daydreaming and i dont know where it goes. Im very irritable and downright angry. Im cutting deeper. And its not working to much. My doc hasnt called me back. Im also very overwhelmed. Really cant take any more. Four kids, moving,full time school and a single parent with no family. Just get me out of here. Ive practiced where im gonna go. And looked up how to do it. Almost ready.
  2. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you're here, you're important to us.

    A lot of meds may take months to work

    Depending on your location, there may be housing available for single mothers. Even a shelter is better than traumatizing your children.
    In the US, if you go to an Emergency Room, you will get treatment if you are honrst and tell them of your plans to kill yourself. Your children will be plced in a safe environment.

    Will you post some more, and tell us what caused this decision?
  3. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I am from the us. And wont tell my therapist the truth because i do.nt want to be in a hospital. I dont want my kids in foster care. Im trying to find a place for them to go. So far the few relatives i have are telling me no. Im not on any meds. I have major depression and bpd. All feeling are too much for me. Im just too overwhelmed. All these symptoms. Just dont see a way out. Feel trapped with no help insight. And nowhere to turn. Thats what brougjt me to where i am. Oh and was abused as a child and by my husband. I was with him for twenty years and now have a pfa against him. Theres the big stuff.
  4. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Being in a hospital for treatment is not bad - I've been twice. I'm on numerous medications, etc. Every single objection you've brought up is minor, when compared to the agony each of your children will feel on their birthdays, at Christmas, on your birthday. You may not be thinking clearly, but those children will be tortured. And is there any chance they could be placed with your ex?

    I don't want you to be in the pain and agony you are obviously in. There are good options available for you. Please take advantage of them. There may even be county mental health organizations that exist specifically to help people in your situation. I know because I use one of them.

    And give us a chance to help you. We are a place where you are welcome to voice your frustrations and pain, without criticism
    We care, and you are important to us.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 13, 2012
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Hello. I'd like to make a few comments and I hope you will understand that they are just helpful thoughts. If I didn't care, I would not be taking the time to care enough to think about you. :) I care, as do others who are posting here to you.

    My opinion:
    Be 100% upfront and honest with your therapist as that is the best way for them to properly evaluate the assistance they can provide you. I deal with children protective service organizations often and if you are working toward a solution, they most likely will not take your children away during. I am not pro-medications, but they can be a good temporary help (though they almost all take time to actually start showing any help). Medications, as long as you seek other methods to manage your situation, can be as important as are vitamins or blood thinners for people with high blood pressure. Science does do some things right. :)

    I lost my son. I know what it is like to be the one who has to live on after a loved one leaves by suicide. Believe me, you do not want to wish what I feel onto your children. I would not wish this onto my worst enemies! 1Lefty could not have said what they said (above) any better. Listen to it.

    In my life I have had good times and bad times. The bad times are harder to survive than the good, but if you don't get through them... you can't get to the good. The good is out there - your kids are the good. Work hard to create a plan and a solution that is positive.

    Talk about it here - there seems to be a lot of good hearted folks here that listen.
  6. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Saw my doc today and i told her a bit. I was afraid to tell her how suicidal i am but told her everything else. I find it strange that most times she asks and today she didnt. But she wants me back in a week. Then i can start the new meds. But i have to make it till then. I told my therapist that if i had the money id see him tomorrow. Maybe i should just cancel him and just go to the woods.
  7. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    No need to go to the woods- you've already made a positive decision concerning your life. Our treatment and recovery are not sudden or all at once. They are a series of small choices, then follow through, to the next choice.

    And sometimes it goes so slow, but you're not alone. You. have an entire community ready to encourage and emotionally support you.

    You can vent your feelings and thoughts here, without criticism or condemnation (just stay within the FAQ)

    Do you really want to miss your children's proms and graduations?

    Things can get better, and you can get better.
  8. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    chrism.. have been abused and so far down i had no hope whatsoever.. well i got some good psychiatric help and some meds from some very caring people.. took time and some work but things got liveable for me.. this can also happen for you.. you need to be honest with people trying to help you. also meds can really help.. takes awhile for that to happen.. if you kill yourself adn just vanish out of your kid;s life , that is going to hurt them terrible and their pain will never really go away..

    please do not do the deed.. reach out for some professional help instead.. also keep talking here in this thread.. if you are talking you are still alive adn trying.. we will listen and be here with you.. take care, Jim
  9. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Ive been in therapy for years. I also go to a day program. Three days a week. Ive been on a bunch of meds. They cant find the right one. I dont see any light.
    And life just sucks. I cant deal anymore. Its just too much. I know i need help and nobody knows what it is so in the meantime i flounder. But im feeling bettknowing i have a way out.
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