Getting back on my feet again

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by annie-crafts, Jan 17, 2009.

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  1. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    I'm recently coming out of a major depressive episode. I have new meds, a new DR that I really like and is hopeful for me and I have a great therapist. Luckily also, I have a great partner - I don't know where I'd be without him.

    But I'm having trouble getting things back together. I think I'm coming out of the depression, but maybe it's still there more that I think. The suicidal thoughts aren't as intense. But I just can't motivate myself to get up and get things done. I can't work, so I have a mostly unstructured day. I stay up late at night watching TV so that I wake up late in the day because I'm still having problems making it thru the day. I'm still mostly numb and feel flat, but not in a deep deep suicidal depression. But I don't really feel anything close to happiness. I know that I"m not functioning at a level where I was. When I'm doing ok, I get up and make the most of my day. I can leave the house, go to the store, meet a friend, etc. Somewhat of a "normal" life.

    I don't know if I"m putting too much presure on myself to "get back up and go" again or am I just being lazy? I know that motivation doesn't always come from within and we have do start doing things before we are motivated to continue. But I'm just in this limbo. And I fear what my life will continue to be like. I'm in my 30's, had a career, etc, but lost it all 3 years ago. I WANT to get up and go, but I don't know when to push myself and when to just take it easy.

    I am just asking others if they have experienced this or if this makes sense and if you, if you have any suggestions??

    :blink: :blink: :blink: How do i get it back together?
  2. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    you have to give it time, exhaustion and generally not feeling like doing all that much comes part and parcel with depression, n even if you think youre feeling a little better in yourself and the depression is lifting a bit its still hard to readjust to a normal routine. i used to pretty much sleep all the time when i was severely depressed, n it took me a while but when i felt ready i started getting myself up earlier, going for a walk or just down the road to the newsagents, doing little things throughout the day that i knew i wouldnt find too difficult, just to build myself back up again, you might find that helps :)
  3. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    Thanks, for some reason I feel this pressure to "get it together". It's like now that I've made it thru the holidays and am on new meds, I should be rebounding back faster. But, like you, i was sleeping all the time, etc, and just need to give it time and stop putting pressure on myself.

    I guess I don't need to be banging my head against the wall :biggrin:
    just give it time. thanks
  4. Rachel123

    Rachel123 Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty much in the same place as you are. Although I AM back to work...But I don't have to work though.... I'm sleeping. So It's hard to do anything else. I think over time it will all come back to me though...As It will with you too :)
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Annie,
    I am glad to hear you are feeling better!!! I agree with Laurey you should get up in the morning and take a little stroll and get some fresh air. My shrink is after me to start walking because of the weight I have gained from the meds and from being stagnant for so long. I told him I would keel over before I got to the end of the driveway( smoke to much) lol.
    Seriously though a walk and the fresh air will help clear out some of those cobwebs. I get mine at my brothers house. He has a horse farm and there is always something that needs to be done so at least I am outside. You know I have augoriphobia so that is a big step for me. He has people stop by the house all the time and I have to go inside because my phobias kick in when I am around ppl.
    It is really good to hear your making strides in helping yourself. It makes a big difference having a shrink you can talk to. Mine doesn't speak english to good so there is very little conversation between us. Take Care and keep up the good work!!~Joseph~
  6. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    i felt a lot of pressure at first to do the same, but once i stopped pressurising myself i found it much easier cause i was doing things for myself without giving myself unrealistic expectations xx
  7. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    Well, I made it out of the house today to run errands and get some food, but then my car died and I had to deal with that. Having car problems is one the most anxiety producing things for me and I feel sick to my stomach now.

    But I'm not suicidal over it and I don't feel more depressed about it. I feel that I can effectively deal with it (whereas a couple of weeks ago, I'd be freaking out and it would have probably made me more suicidal - thinking that "nothing ever goes right for me, I can't deal, its too much, i don't want to be here, etc"

    That feels like an improvement. I have some hope again, in what, I don't know, but something is more alive in me. Hopefully it will keelp up. :blink:

    Also, thanks for the encouragement to get out of the house and take a walk. It's ridiculous that I don't because it's in the 70 degree range and I live right next to a park. But I get that agoraphobia, anxiety too. Have to face my fears...and stop making excuses.

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