Getting Closer

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lauru, Mar 16, 2010.

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  1. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    I am getting closer. I am planning my death and hope to implement it soon. I want it to be exactly the right time. I want to die, be dead forever. I want to drink and use and cut myself all over. I hate myself and my life. I want to f***ing die, and no one can help me. My life is over. How long do I have to live for other people? How long till I can die for myself. I gotta draw the line somewhere. I can't live for others anymore.:thatsit::badday::bash:
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry for what you're going through. Why do you want to die, what's happening?
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I too am sorry for what you are going through?

    Do you want to tell us more? Why do you hate yourself and your life?
     
  4. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    You cannot live for other people Lauru, you can only live for youself. This is human nature so if you are doing this you are trying to defeat what is nature itself. But that does not mean you can't heal. Please hear me if only for a minute. You can only live for youself. This is human nature so if you are doing this you are trying to defeat what is nature itself. But that does not mean you can't heal. Your conclusion as to who you are is faulty in the sense that your reality is what God's reality is (and I don't want to get into religion, trust me). I just hope you realize this in time before you do something rash.[/QUOTE]
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 16, 2010
  5. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    You cannot live for other people Lauru, you can only live for youself. This is human nature so if you are doing this you are trying to defeat what is nature itself. But that does not mean you can't heal. Please hear me.
     
  6. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    please tell us more...why do you feel like your life is over? :hug:

    You should live for yourself not for others :hug:

    We are here for you :hug:
     
  7. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    I have nothing to live for. I can no longer work, my education was a waste, I can't help people, I will be on disability for the rest of my life. I am a fool for thinking I could work or make a difference. I am a loser. I still suffer with this bipolar and OCD. I can't get a grip on it. Maybe I am beyond hope. No one can help someone like me. My partner will be better off without me, she just doesn't know it yet.
     
  8. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I could have written some of that myself. I too no longer work, I will likely be on disability for the rest of my life. I have been TOLD I am too comple to help. Youknow what though? I DO make a difference. The difference I make is through volunteering. Have you ever done anything like that?

    Your partner loves you for you. Let her make the decision for what she wants, she has that right.

    You have a lot to live for if you look for it and fight for you. With the right support and help people who have Bi-Polar and OCD can get to a point where its not as much of a problem as it is for you currently. Do you have any professional support at the moment?
     
  9. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    I have all kids of professional support and have for years. And this damn shit keeps happening to me. I keep getting sick. I have been in "treatment" for 20 years, and still I feel like this. Still I want to off myself. I'm tired. I can't live for other people anymore and I don't want to live for myself. God cursed me, and I'm fighting back.
     
  10. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    I had OCD in the past. It's a solvable problem, for sure. Rest assured. I'm someone who can tell you this. You can get rid of OCD completely. You just have to approach it the right way. I think there are a number of self help books out there which contain the right appoaches which all fall under the umbrella of this, I think:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    If you give in now then all your battle and fight has been wasted, and it actually shows the incredible strength you have, to keep fighting for so long. Leaving is not fighting back, fighting back is finding ways to make a difference regardless, its fighting to find ways so that your life is not hampered so much. Its all the things you have already been doing. You ARE fighting back, right now, as we speak.
     
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