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I am at work and feeling so useless. We are not treated well and I have had the pervasive thought all day to just climb onto the roof and jump; or to hang myself from the stairwell. It just feels so real and close and like the only option.
I talk to my family, my therapist, my doctor. That's part of the problem: I have a support system, I have people to talk to, I have everything but it is not enough for me. I just always have this feeling of worthlessness.
I've always said that "I have everything I need to go forward in life, I am loved, and yet that isn't enough. That I feel like I'm trapped, like my brain is supposed to be a temple but I feel trapped. It's like I have cancer."
I'm really sorry to hear that, and I can relate so much to what you mean. I hope you never feel like you aren't worth others' time because your problems aren't bad enough for them. We all suffer *painful smile*
Maybe it's time for you to go in the hospital.. If these thoughts are defineing who you are.. There wrong.. It's depression takeing control..A stay in the hospital would keep you safe and you can work with the pdoc and therapist that are assigned to you..What do you have to loose..