Getting employment

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mpk, Apr 10, 2016.

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  1. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Sometimes I feel like I am not going to get another job because I'm 55 yet I do continue to try. I have filled out 4 applications in 2 months, one employer has already stated no go yet have not heard from other 3.
    I also feel like not trying. Unemployment is still tough here yet I know I have to try. Right now I am trying to find a job close to what I was doing before yet realistically I will have to look at jobs that I may be "over qualified for" which is kind of demeaning and a stressor in itself because lets face I am not a young man anymore.
    The key I guess is to keep looking if you don't apply at least look.
    Red Nightmare and Brian777 like this.
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Is no reason not to apply to any job if you are not working. Apply, and at interview see if there is an upward mobile or more comprehensive position available or likely to become available in the near future. Many places only hire from within for higher positions so while applying for lower level job , it is the only way to get to higher level jobs. Applying for a job and even being offered a job does not mean you have to take it if it does not seem like a good fit- but putting your face and resume in front of peopel and actually talking to see what the job encompasses is the only way to get started. Even if you take a job lower than your level , it does not mean one has to stop applying- and the plain truth is it is far easier to get a better job when you are already employed then when unemployed. If already have a job is clear you are a worker and capable- and are simply saying I am better then my current job - the employer sees that.
  3. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you NY for your advice. I will keep plugging along.
  4. Bishopgirl

    Bishopgirl Member

    I understand how you feel I'm a 56-year-old woman who hasn't done much with their life but I've been very successful in some areas Right now I'm unemployed I got hired at one job but it was clearly not the right job for me so I quit after one day and that added just another failure to my long list I just want to be contributing I just want to matter hang in there you're not alone
  5. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you Bishopgirl. I am 55 so I don't know if I will ever find another job other than a part time gig with no benefits. My pension is small and finances are a little tight. May have to sell everything to survive.
    What I find to be the toughest is trying to fill in the day with things to do. I have been working since I was 14 and that is all I really know. It is tough getting up with no where to go.
  6. Bishopgirl

    Bishopgirl Member

    I sure understand that-what happened to our golden days. I look and apply to jobs every day but when that runs out then I feel lazy for not doing something but there's nothing to do. You seem very rational and intelligent and it's nice to know that there's people like you out there , still trying
  7. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Bishopgirl, I think the golden days were a myth. What I find frustrating is that now all applications are done online. At least if you had to go in and fill one out you are getting out doing something.
    I have been unemployed for 3 months in the beginning I looked everyday now I am lucky if it is twice a week. I have only filled out 4 applications in 3 months and 2 have already said not interested even though I believe I am qualified yet I guess it is young person's world :)
    This is probably why I am depressed.
  8. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    (Sorry for any confusion I may have caused but I moved these last posts from the thread they were in because we accidentally hijacked the thread of another member and this deserved its own thread anyway)

    It was very hard for me when I became physically ill and had to stop working. I too started working very young on farms- picking vegetables starting at 12 and to a dairy farm by 14 working 30-40 hours during school year and 55+hours when school was not in session, until ending as a general manager with an owner interest of a good sized company with 150 employees working 70 hours many weeks. 30 years of working every day was a hard habit to break and finding something to do with all that time is what led to my severe depression nearly as much as the physical issues and pain. I really do understand @mpk how depressing and difficult to find motivation it can be when suddenly is all this time and you feel like either nobody wants you, or you have nothing left to offer seemingly based on the way people suddenly start treating you. To be very honest, it took better than 2 years before I was able to manage a serious effort at even caring enough about being alive to really put effort into making all that time productive in some manner again (even if not able to work full time anymore for physical reasons), so I am very cognizant the "doing" is much more difficult than the "saying how someone else should do".

    That said - here are some ideas that might help - they did help me and have helped others-

    Stop reading the help wanted looking for things that you are qualified for or that are a close match to what you were doing. Instead read the ads taking off the things you cannot qualify for in any way (for example looking for electrical engineer and you do not have an engineer degree). The reason is simple and this was the most useful to me. Instead of spending 1-2 hours reading the ads and searching online and finding just a couple things I was looking for, in the end there were fewer things that i could not do than that I could do if I used just the criteria of "no way minimally qualified". Instead of finding 4 things that I was looking and 2 of them were the same as the week before or already applied, when I was done I had lists of 50 or 100 things that I figured I could do if I decided I wanted to if they would give me a chance. Mentally it is far more encouraging to see all the things I could do if I got a chance than spend the same amount of time crossing off 100 things and left to look at 2 to decide if I wanted to even bother with those 2. When you look at things that way it also allows you to spend your job hunting time giving yourself positive reinforcements of "I could do that, hell I could do that too if I wanted to, don't want to - but I sure as hell could do it" is far more positive than "there is almost nothing for me".

    When you have the new improved list of all the things you think you could do if they gave a you a chance go through and actually read them with an attitude of what is acceptable or might be acceptable to me and under what conditions. Make the job hunting you deciding if they meet your standards, and considering what it would take to meet your standards. "Dishwasher- nope, well- I say no, but I guess if they wanted to pay me $30/ hour I would consider- I have management experience I could manage the place in 6 months probably and that is something I would consider, so if was a fast track management position then $12/ hour for 30 day s, and then move to back manager for $15/hr for 3 months, and then take asst manager for $45k in 6 months and full manager at $75k in a year and that I would consider"/ This is clearly a silly example and I am a little embarrassed to admit it is actually very close to the way my thought process was working- but the point was it was looking for positives and upsides instead of the negatives. I had lots of time anyway so.. It also did start to really expand what I could see myself doing and even found some things that I decided I might be interested in trying that I had never thought about.

    Apply for things. Lots of things. I really didn't care if I did nto get a call or if I got a bad response- I had nothing else to do anyway so a negative interview on something that I knew was a stretch was not a big deal- and I turned down as many as turned me down. But I was in control again as opposed to at their mercy. At worst I was an equal in deciding my future. In the end, I found ways to be productive- I went from being a general manager in a good size business to being a freelance writer, and then as of a few months ago started to do some light graphics work. Absolutely nothing I had ever considered, but things that met my very unique situation of how much could work physically and flexibility. It also turns out it has been a really nice "change" for later in life and to find out are other things I could do. Both are things I would never have considered working for or applying for in that first couple years though they make a good fit for me now.

    I do wish you luck and urge you to try to stay positive in your job search - you do have skills and life experience of value to employers and if you get in front of enough people to show them that, you will find employment that works for you and you can be happy with. Just don't settle- that doesn't mean you can't take any job that you want or that you can get - it means do not stop when you take that job and decide that is it until 65- take whatever job you decide appeals enough for the moment and don't settle for that being it- use it to get to where you will be happy and challenged (and compensated fairly).
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2016
    Jenumbra likes this.
  9. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you again NY. It is tough to try and remain or even get positive. I guess I am really in the funk with this whole thing.
  10. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Keep up the good work. Have you tried calling the places where you haven't gotten responses from yet? Some employers like that approach

    Good luck with everything, and please don't give up hope!
  11. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you Phantomlady. I have not called the other 2 employers yet I am not sure I will as I know for 1 it had over 150 applicants. Unemployment here is tough but I guess that's life.
  12. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    I too am 55 and even with college degrees it has taken me up to 8 months to find a job. The hardest part is finding insurance to cover my meds (I live in the US and have tried the insurance marketplace). I have taken jobs that pay 1/2 of what the going rate just trying to get out of the house and make some cash. I have looked at suicide as a means to end the misery and have been happy that I have not. What I do - and I don't know what country you llive in - is (1) volunteer somewhere and (2) go to networking groups. The groups are helpful even as a basis for polishing yourself for interviews and basically getting out and interacting with people on a prof level. Basically get out and interact with people to keep going. It's not easy it's very hard to deal with rejection but eventually something will come through. I'm looking at relocating for my next job and I don't want to. I've lived here all my life but I have to do something. If you need any more advice or need encouragement you can pm me.

    I've been there.
  13. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    cymbele, I live in the USA also and I don't have any insurance either. I have gotten some help from the VA yet may have to pay it all back next year if the hardship was medical was found to have been given in error by them so that is a stressor.
    I just received another rejection for a job this morning.
    I really don't know what to do as I have worked government all my life and frankly I believe my skills are lacking. I am also looking at relocating yet not for a job to help take care of my mother in law yet I am not sure I can even do that.
    It is tough.
    Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it.
  14. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I wish you the best of luck, mpk. I have been unemployed for a while now and it definitely contributes to my depression. It can be the hardest thing because it makes you feel defeated and useless. There are no jobs with the VA? You will get an opportunity soon since you are an intelligent and caring person. Fingers crossed for you. *hugs*
  15. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    Thank you lightning for your kind words. Most of the jobs with the VA are medical and you have to already be working for them. I really don't know if I will ever a get a full time job. Unemployment is tough and you are correct it is even worse with depression causing an even deeper funk.
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