Everything I read online seems to assume that if you have suicidal feelings you must have depression... I don't think I have depression. I'm definitely not happy though. I just started high school this year but couldn't stand it and kept missing days until a little over a month ago I started being home-schooled. I hated it because I didn't really have any friends, I don't have much experience making friends, I don't relate to many people my age, I have a lot of trouble getting schoolwork done, and the more days of school I missed, the more the kids there pushed me around. I was then prescribed Celexa for depression/anxiety, even though I didn't want it. I was taken off of it 2 weeks later as I didn't notice a difference and it seemed the problems I had were situational. 4 days ago I started taking Concerta for ADHD, but it's only an 18 mg dose and I see no improvements yet. I'm extremely alone. I've only got one friend that I hang out with every few weekends and my parents. I think my mom might actually have an anxiety disorder. A lot of the time she seems upset and I try to avoid her. I can't talk to my parents about what I'm experiencing.. I just want solutions but they can't seem to come up with any. I can't be by myself this much though. I've got nothing to do but homework which is extremely difficult for me to finish and it makes me so sad. My dad seems to think that if I put enough energy into it I will be able to get my work done and doesn't understand me when I say that I want to, but I just get so frustrated. I try to talk to my parents about what I'm feeling and what I want in order to feel better everyday, but they're always just like "this again?". I feel trapped with only negative energy to feed off of and no solutions. Right now I have the fan on because I don't want to hear my parents' voices. I'm not sad all the time. Sometimes I'm very happy- you know, if I find something to be excited by, but things like that are becoming more and more sparse when I'm hardly having any new experiences anymore. I can't live like this; I need interaction with people but I have no opportunities for it. Sometimes I can't even deal with my emotions anymore and I scream or cry or rock back and forth or turn the lights off and hide under the covers for a little while. And if I'm sick of doing that, well, I'll think about killing myself or, more recently, self-harming. But then half an hour later I'll feel okay again. This has been happening more lately which scares me but honestly, I don't think it's possible for me to get depressed. My emotions are too variable for it. I'm not bipolar though because there's always triggers. If you took the time to read through this I really appreciate it. Any advice?