getting more and more lost

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Mozart, Dec 22, 2012.

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  1. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    During the last 2 years my life has turned from a pretty fulfilled existence into a nightmare.Without going into detail here all I can say is that I suffered so many setbacks and disasters that I still sometimes wonder whether this all can be real. Job,health,everything has turned into a mess and I cannot see any way out.I am increasingly desperate,which is not at all my normal nature,as I am normally a fairly resilient person.But too many knock downs have left their marks. I am glad to be here,though on my first day in the chat room I was approached in a private message by somebody who was a about to take their live in real time,as I was chatting. It was certainly no hoax and it has disturbed me considerably as the person on the other end was in a terrible situation and I had not much to offer for conciliation. I am not sure what happened then as the writing became more and more blurred and finally stopped. Anyway,I am glad to be here. I hope with all my heart that my life does not fall apart even more. So far I had practically no influence on what happened to me. But I am not ready to give up yet. Sorry for ranting on so long. Merry Christmas to everybody.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Hun sorry you are in such turmoil do hope hun you have someone to talk to on the outside a councilor your doctor just someone who can guide you a bit through all the sadness you are feeling. I am glad you are reaching out here hun and no need to be sorry for ranting or venting hun this place is truly a safe place w here no one harms or judges you
    Hugs to you
     
  3. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I will try my best not to get too depressed, and maybe things turn around eventually,though at the moment I can't see that .
    I don't see a councilor or doctor,I want to fight this on my own for the time being.
     
  4. Python

    Python Member

    Merry Christmas, Mozart.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Well hun i hope you stick around here then ok lots of caring people here who can give you some support Wish you a Christmas full of peace hun and a New Year of healing hugs
     
  6. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it and I also wish you, Python and total eclipse a wonderful Christmas and a great 2013 !
     
  7. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. Sorry to hear about your chat 'baptism of fire' so to speak. For future reference - if you can decipher as much information - copy & paste into notepad or something like that the conversation, locate letters to the management on the forum and create a thread with concerns there, moderators if online have a range of colours that are emboldened near the foot of the main index, useful to private message them too.

    As for your issues, it's more self satisfying to come through it alone, but even the best of us need help and support. If it gets too much it's worth looking into. Have you considered writing a list of what isn't right for you? Having it written can be useful as you can look to break each issue down to all possible reasons that would open up what you could look to change. Also, look at the advice you would give to someone in a similar situation, as that could be the best advice to try where you understand what it does to you.

    This place can be good for some, I hope we can give you the supportive base you're looking for.

    Gary
     
  8. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thank you so much for your considerate and helpful reply,Gary. I certainly will take your advice on board.
    I agree that at some stage one might need consider outside help,but I still hope to get through this
    without.
    My situation is sort of weird :I got caught up in a serious natural disaster which affects my job ,as it will disappear as a result of this. There are practically no alternatives job wise ,it is a highly specialised field ,and so far relocating back to where I came from ( other side of the globe ) a few years ago ,leaving a top position , did not work . On top of that a health condition has developed that ,if it further progresses it will make it gradually impossible to work in my field. I quite possibly might end up with virtually nothing and that will probably kill me. It might sound sort of over dramatic,but I can assure you it is gradually destroying me,as I seem to be unable to change things for the better. As I work in an artistic profession I cannot change course, this is not just a "job",it is my life,my vocation, I have never done anything else.
    What's haunting me is that my mother committed suicide some years ago.She was an over sensitive,highly strung person and I unfortunately suffer from the same "condition". But I refuse to give in and have vowed to fight my way out of this, I just have to make sure I have enough energy for that.
     
  9. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Having never done anything else, would it not be an idea to at least try? I appreciate that it's not easy and it could be even more challenging, but you wouldn't know if you didn't try. And I applaud the courage in the desire not to do what your mum did. Life can change for anyone in any way at any age. An example I can use is my dad being life and soul of parties dropping down to anxious agoraphobic at 52 years old. If it can happen one way, what's to stop it happening in reverse?
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, sounds like things are rough for you right now, but remember there is ALWAYS hope. Keep that hope alive. 2013 might be a better year for you, I hope so anyway and keep us updated :)
     
  11. Mozart

    Mozart Well-Known Member

    Thanks again for your support and I'll keep you posted. Changing career as an artist is unfortunately not an option,but I will try to work around what's possible. Promised.
     
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