Getting my wrist X-rayed. A rant...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by ThePhantomLady, Feb 17, 2016.

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  1. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Well, first of all, a small 'yay' that my wrist didn't break.

    I went to my doctor today, because I tried to break my own wrist several times this weekend and I still have severe pain... I realized it there was a break I could risk losing the use of my hand if it wasn't treated, and honestly I do need my right hand!

    I called the doctors office in the morning and told them about my injury. I was given an appointment at 11 today. I went... and I almost chickened out so many times.

    I thought long and hard what I would say if asked how it happened... But when the doctor did ask I told her "I got a bit frustrated and took it out on a stone wall". That's not exactly how it went. I got frustrated, scared and angry and knowingly tried to break my hand.

    Why? Because I promised my boyfriend to stop cutting myself after what I did almost 3 weeks ago.

    Like he said when I confessed this to him "That's not exactly better!!". And he's right. I should have gotten my paint out and taken it out on a canvas instead.


    Well, the doctor tested my wrist, and for what ever reason she pressed her thumb into my healing cut (between my thumb and second finger). That was so damn triggering to me... She tutted and told me to go get it X-rayed at the hospital. (yes the hospital where I worked at... I even had to pass the lunch room during the time I know my previous co-workers were going to their lunch break... but luckily I didn't run into anyone).

    Getting to the hospital I couldn't for the life of me find the X-ray department (I worked in the pediatric wards as a secretary and research assistant)... but when I finally did I was met with the most stressed and annoying secretary ever.

    My doctor had told me I could show up unannounced before 1 o'clock and get an acute booking... so I told the secretary that when I made it to the hospital at 12. She looked at me like 'WTF?' and started lecturing me that my doctor would have written a referral and she couldn't do much before it made it through the system to her, and that my doctor would know that. I told her again exactly what my doctor told me... she raised her voice and told me "Go sit down, I'll call you when the referral get's through".

    I was about to cry, but I did sit down... I waited 20 minutes and had to hide and work myself through a panic attack. At 12.20 I couldn't handle it any longer... I had to know if I was at the right place even, and I went back to the desk.

    Luckily the stressed secretary had gone to lunch... I approached her replacement with a smile and was met with a smile back, she was on the phone but told me to speak. She even giggled. She was on the phone with my doctors office, waiting to get through to solve the issue. The doctor hadn't sent the referral, just like I said, but they got it faxed in. She kindly told me to sit down and wait, and that it wouldn't take long... so I did. She came out to me and told me that it was all fixed now.

    And my boyfriend helped too... after my 'argument' with the first secretary I just wanted to pack up and go back home. I told him that, and he told me how he really wanted me to get this done, and continued on with his very lame jokes. He's amazing like that, he can always make me smile.

    It didn't take long before I had my X-ray done, which was done by some nurses who barely even looked at me... and then I had to wait for a doctor to look at them, that didn't take too long either... the nice secretary came to give me the verdict. No broken bones... but if it keeps hurting for the next days I should see my doctor again.

    It's just been a whirlwind. This is the first time I've actually gone to get the result of selfharming treated...
    I don't know how I feel about it though...
  2. So glad you went in to get it checked out that is really brave. I am glad it is not broken. Going in is really hard I know I've had to go get stitches before but I can't imagine going in to the place you work and alone (I had a good friend come with me). Good for you!
    ThePhantomLady likes this.
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