Getting no better....please help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sophiethecat2003, Jun 28, 2015.

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  1. Hi again,

    A while since I have been here.

    Nothing is getting any better my body dismorphia is out of control, and I just can't go on much longer.

    Despite having everything in life, my preoccupation with my eye bags is ruining everything.

    I bought a large bottle of vodka a few weeks ago and was going to down it , but chickend out when my friend rang me

    My CBT counsellor has told me to cut down my checking, but I can't stop.

    Each day I think my eyes get worse and I am making myself really ill.

    I have been on Citalopram for 8 weeks and it hasn't kicked in, so my doctor wants to put me on Paroxetine instead.

    I am so low, and worried about the side effects and starting all over again.

    I really can't carry on like this.

    I just don't see a way out of this hell I am in.

    Please help. .

    Big hugs to everyone
    ☺ xx
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sophie, its great to ''see'' you again, i've missed you. What is it that your therapist wants you to cut down on? I think you made a typo, you wrote ''checking''. I do not have BDD so I really am unsure of how you should approach this but please keep seeing the professionals and take their advice. Any disorder is hard on the mind and heart, you just have to keep yourself safe when you have the rough patches, big hugs :hugs: Anti depressants are icky when trying to find the right one, it takes time, it takes strength and courage, good luck on finding the one that suits you.

  3. Hi Petal

    Nice to talk with you again.

    My therapist wants me to stop mirror checking.

    I can't though, I am making myself really ill.

    I just don't know what to do.

    I am worried about my thoughts again, I am in hell.

    This change of meds is freaking me out. I don't feel as if I have time on my hands to keep trying.

    Sophie ☺ xx
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi again hun,

    Oh stop mirror checking! That makes sense, have you stopped or are trying to? I think that is a good idea, i'm with your therapist there?

    What kind of thoughts are you having, talking about them might help you feel a bit better. Keep trying, it is all you can do and keep trying consistently :hugs:
  5. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    Hi Sophie - I was just wondering. Does your therapist offer constructive step-by-step help as to how you can stop the mirror checking, or does he/she just advise you to stop? As someone with BDD myself, I know that it is a lot more complicated than simply being told to "stop doing it."
  6. Hi Angel,

    Thanks for replying, I really appreciate it.

    I am glad for your input as you also have BD.

    No..she hasn't given me any step by step help, she is just a general CBT counsellor though. I just can't seem to stop checking. It is like a drug.

    I am really at the end with this. I am making my partners life hell, and all my wonderful friends as well as myself.

    Why am I torturing myself and everyone? My partner has a stressful job 90 miles away and I don't think he can take much more.

    I really don't know what to do.

    Could I pm you privately? Maybe we could support each other.

    Sorry if that's presumptuous but I could do with a bit of guidance, my doctor isn't a lot of help, she doesn't know much about BD.

    Thanks again
    Sophie ☺ xx
  7. Hi sweetie,

    I just can't stop the mirror checking it's like a drug. I am convinced I am ageing myself with all this.

    My thoughts are bad, I just don't want to carry on in this hell.

    Can I pm you privately again?

    Big hugs
    Sophie ☺ xx
  8. Sorry last reply is for Petal xx
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You CAN fight and WIN this battle hun.

    So sorry for what you are going through :(

    Of course you can PM me :hugs: You don't need to ask hun :)
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 29, 2015
  10. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    Sophie - Feel free to PM me anytime. Happy to share stories from inside the mirror of hell!
  11. Hi Angel,

    Thanks for being so kind.

    I am a bit of a technophobe.. lol. How do I PM you privately?

    Big hugs
    Sophie ☺ xx
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