Getting old

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by will_1957, Dec 15, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I was just wondering how people feel about getting old. I figure that even if I weren't suicidal now, I would still believe that it would be better to die before I become an old man.

    It's very perplexing to me why people would ever want to let themselves get so old that they can't take care of themselves. It's all so very depressing and I don't really know why anyone would bother living that long.

    I mean I understand if someone's got a loving family and grandchildren and such then I guess it would make sense to want to live that long. But most of the people I care about are likely to all have died by the time I get old and so there would really be no point to it.

    So I'd say even if I got out of this suicidal funk I'm in I would still rather kill myself before I got too old. What do other people think about it?
  2. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I vaccilate. The will to survive seems to be much stronger than the inner strength it takes to kill yourself. Then you have people with religious morals over the issue. You do have people out there with good families, who want to live for them. Or maybe they just would never consider suicide. People age differently, too. My mother slowly deteriorated due to Alzheimer's, yet my dad is thriving at 87 and seems to be going to outlive me (perhaps out of spite). After watching my mother, and my dad, I don't think I want to be that old at all, but then again, I didn't want to be this old either - I didn't want to live past age 7, and was sure I'd be dead before I was 30. So I mean, there's tons of reasons for things happening as they do.
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i have absolutely no to care for me or about me. i have no money. old age means total fear. if i cant pay to be cared for i will be on a street. an old shriveled up rotting man crawling around in a gutter. its not a pretty picture but it is the future for me.
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    your parents had a support system. many people such as myself do not, will not, and can not. does anyone understand the total fear of growing old and knowing groveling in a gutter of filth is your future?
  5. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    Getting old is no fun. You get more medical problems, your eyes fail you, your sex drive fails you, your memory fails you. You get weaker with each passing second. You watch more and more loved ones and things pass away.

    I get more depressed the older I get. I would much rather be young again.

    I live with my elderly parents, and can't take care of myself. I have no other family. The best I can hope for is a nursing home.
  6. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you have loved ones. i dont. no one on here can even begin to understand what im talking about. is there anyone on here with no one? i seriously doubt it. i mean NO ONE. nothing, nada, zero. there is one and one path only that lays ahead for me. misery, filth, and the gutter.
  7. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    On the other hand, I could win the lottery. And science and or medicine may come up with a drug that cures all disease and bestows eternal youth and vigor on the general population.

    Or perhaps an alien culture will land on earth and bestow such miraculous knowledge.
  8. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    You could win the lottery. How's your physical health mines rotten. I can't even breathe when I lay down anymore.

    There's always nursing homes. You don't have to live in the gutter.
  9. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    nursing homes are free? i have no possessions to give them. i doubt my social security check will suffice.
  10. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    by the way, i have lived outside before. its just loads of fun. i have managed to scrape together enough to live in a 6600 dollar used trailer.
  11. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm looking at the exact same future. I'm looking at that future every month, for that matter. So yes, I do know.
  12. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you still have your dad and i assume you have a home and perhaps your dads home at some point to trade for old age care. do you have kids and/or grand kids?
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    When I was very young I never saw myself older than 30. When I hit 30 I never saw myself in my 40's. I'm 45. My emotional, physical and material life sucks. Financially I will NEVER have a future. I cant work because of my mental health issues. I havent been able to work for about 8 years now and the pdoc keeps adding 2 years to the time. I've been suicidal for about 20 years. But in my head, in the real me, being 45 is ok.

    O dont know, maybe because I have attempted and can and will again, being 45 isnt so bad. I know that I have the means to stop "being" when I need to. That others intervene is out of my hands. But I can keep trying. So I think that makes it not so bad.

    You also really do change how you see and feel about yourself as you age. You give yourself more breaks, relax a little more, dont have the same pressures you did when you were a teen or young adult. You can be you. You dont have to be what everyone else expects you to be or doing. I guess you learn to like yourself a little bit more.

    People always say "life is what you make it." Bullshit. You are what your life makes you! I didnt ask to be abused, in debt so far that I will never see the end, raising children as a single mom etc. I worked damn hard to fix or change those situations. But atleast the older I get the more I like me. That's something right? Maybe if you can believe my words it might be something for you too. Only words but dont write yourself off yet? "Life" may not get better as you age... but you do.
  14. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Wow! You are so right... I didn't ask for all the abuse that came my way and made me what I am...

    But now, at 48 (49 in the next week), I have moments - even for a fleeting few days - where I have begun to feel comfortable with me...

    It is hard to face the past, and what has been brutally stolen that can never be replaced, or made up for, as time proceeds: life is in wind down mode...

    Hard, very hard... but sometimes content.
  15. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Tonight in the prayer meeting at church I realized I will be 60 years old in seven years. I know for a fact when the time comes that I need looking after I'm going into a care home. I don't want to be at the mercy of what my children think is the right way of doing things. I plan to knit and crochet until I drop.
  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm a member of the over the hill gang..The stuff that I use to worry about doesn't matter anymore..I also am facing 60 in a couple of years.. I hope to live long enough to see my grandaughter graduate..Thats about the only thing that keeps me going..Who knows maybe I will grow old and chase the nurses around in my wheel
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.