Getting on with people

[Cerulean]

This is something I find difficult. When I'm with people who I don't know that well I can usually talk to them to begin with, just the basic conversation, but then I find myself pulling away from them. I'm not sure why, but it's kinda like I don't want to feel like I'm forcing myself on people if they don't like me, yet at the same time I know that doing that means they are less likely to be comfortable around me etc etc.
Once I've got past that bit, presuming the person hasn't decided they don't want anything to do with me, whichis what most often happens, then I start to talk more to them, get more involved and although I'm still not good with people I can be comfortable around them and have decent conversation and stuff.

It just seems really stupid, I notice when I'm doing it but I don't know what to do about it. Any advice or anything would be useful.

It's nothing urgent because there are people who I have become comfortable around so I'm not completely isolated, but it is very hard work that I can't automatically get on with people and have to go through that withdrawal bit before getting to know them properly.

Even just writing that has helped to make a bit of sense of it.
Thanks.

 

[Speedy]

I can relate easily to how you described your feelings when in basic conversations and further on, etc.

Very articulate post! Made sense to me totally.

I don't have any advice to give, but I'm glad you have people to talk to and feel comfortable around. Hope you keep them close. Isolation's not fun, and I think you'd agree too!

P.S. I'm digging your name; sounds like a mythical god's name.

 

[Cerulean]

Thank you for the reply.
It's interesting that you said it was articulate (thanks). Being articulate is something I'm not that good at, which I think is one of the big things that causes me to lose confidence with people I don't know too well. I'm hoping it is something that will improve with practise - at least I really hope it is.

I am very glad I have people around, and I am incredibly grateful for that. I have in the past isolated myself and been in the position where I wouldn't talk to anyone unless I really had to, and that helps me to be grateful for these people.

Cerulean is in fact a colour - a shade of blue (I had to google that because I had forgotten, despite the time that went into choosing it!)

 

[Speedy]

Ooh, a shade of blue! Interesting! That can be on my list of "Things Learned Today."

I think it may be easier for you to be articulate when you write or type rather than speaking face-to-face with people. Less pressure for sure; at least, that's the way it is with me.

 

[starryeyed]

I know how you feel.when people are near me or talking to me I realise they are trying to get away from me as fast as possible.i also see people hiding and running away from me.
But enough of my crap.id say loads want you around but its hard to know what others want.
Theres way less nice people around than there should be .