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Getting over a girl

#1
Hi everyone,

Im in need of some advice, 2 years ago I got into a very serious relationship and about 11 months ago now she left me for a best friend.

This has affected my life too much and still does everyday, i thought these thoughts, feelings and memories would fade, I thought id find someone else, I haven't for that sole reason that i cant let go and stop thinking of her.

She has completely left me, no contact has been made, when I do think of her or something reminds me of her I immediately try my best to change the mindset and forget but in the slightest it still affects me and hurts.

When she first left me, i was on this forum because I was planning on running away or ending my life since the depression and my position in life was terrible, its still not any better but the daily suicidal thoughts faded away, I went to therapy none of it worked, I have since she broke up with me held all this to myself because any time I share my feelings, nothing good comes out of it. Its not as easy as just forgetting her and moving on.

I am a musician and music was a big thing in our relationship, i wrote a song about her too, and every time i see or hear anything that reminds me of her or that time in my life i get shivers.

I need help to get over this, i dont think its possible, but i thought id try this last time.

thank you <3
 
#2
There is no easy solution and all the cliches about time healing really don’t seem to help. I would say to use your talents as a songwriter to channel your emotions.
You have a gift.. use it. It will be difficult and yes it will hurt... but it can also be very cathartic. Write about the pain.. the heartache..the dreams.. and yes the love.
Never give up.. let us know how you’re doing. Hope this helps
 
#3
I like @The Breeze 's suggestion about channeling this into music

2 years ago I got into a very serious relationship and about 11 months ago now she left me for a best friend
Somebody who would just leave you and get together with your best friend or one of your best friends makes her seem like a pretty terrible person, and the same goes for your friend.

I know it's got to hurt to lose her, but maybe focusing on her faults will make it easier to get over her.

I hope things can get better soon
 

Walker

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#4
Do you still have her on social media? Photos on your phone? Contact with her otherwise? These things really make getting past a breakup much much harder for people than they realize.
If you don't have contact with her and it's been that long then I'd suggest a few sessions of therapy. Is that something you can afford to do?
 

Auri

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#5
Hi @andrehunt4 . I'm sorry you've been in so much pain for so long. Breakups can be hard, and you're right, it's not always easy to move on, especially the first time. From what I've noticed, people often do not fully forget about a person until they fall in love again, though the feelings do fade away with time. It is possible to fall in love again, that is certain, and it will happen to you, too, even if perhaps right now it doesn't seem possible to you. I assure you it will.

That being said, taking care of yourself before that happens seems like a priority. A relationship doesn't save you from mental health issues, from depression, and my best advice would be to focus on getting better, on finding methods that work for you. Keep making music, it sounds like it's an important part of your life and even if it's hard at times to find motivation, do it. Perhaps it's worth trying therapy again? Take care of yourself, you have everything to gain by doing that.

Perhaps it's not necessary that I say this, I'm not sure, but a person who leaves you for your best friend is hardly a good person for you. You deserve someone who loves you and only you, at the very least.
Sending hugs.
 

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