Getting over it? Or forgetting her?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by *dilligaf*, Mar 7, 2008.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Okay so recently I have noticed that I can go a day or so without thinking about my Nan. I used to think about her ALL the time....


    Not as many things trigger me about it anymore. Like I can talk about her without being triggered and stuff.

    Does this mean I am coming to terms with the loss? Or that I am forgetting her?

    My head keeps telling me that I can't have loved her enough to be forgetting things already. My heart tells me it's normal.

    Please, what do we all think?
  2. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    *huggles sam*

    The fact that you are not triggered by it is a good thing, it means that you are coming to terms with her passing. People that make an impact on your life are never forgotten and always hold a special place in your heart. The fact that you are coming to terms with it means that while you are still saddened by the fact that she is no longer here, you realize that she would not want you to be sad, and would want you to live out your life happily.

    ~If your going through hell, keep on going~
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thanks Carol

    I'm just worried cos I dont think about her as much
  4. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    that is normal hun... it does not mean you are forgetting her, it just means you are moving on.

  5. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    Carol is right, all this is a good thing.. You are coming to terms with it and I am convinced she knows very well that you will never forget her. I am thinking she can rest more peacefully too, seeing that you're getting better. x
  6. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    i know it must feel so scary, i had the same convo with my boyfriend the other day who was thinking the same thing about his dad.

    It doesnt mean your forgetting, it means some of the pain is starting to heal. They will always me in you heart and mind, but you are staring to learn how to get by with them in your heart instead of in the same world. Im sure that is what they would want.
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Your reply means a lot, thank you :hug:
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Aww sam, it just means that you are coming to terms with her passing. You are finally allowing yourself the gift of healing or closure. Deep down, you know you will never ever forget your nan, she was a remarkable person and so very special to you. I truly believe that she is watching you and is so proud of you for reaching this point. Be strong, and know that she will always be in your heart. And as time passes, you will find you will recall more and more of the good and fun times and fewer of the hard ones that you shared.
  9. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Sam, thats great!
    And no, it defenetly does not mean that you dont love her enough!
  10. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Thank you both :hug:

    It reallu helps
  11. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    But i know how you feel... when my grandfather died few years ago, i was sad for very short time and lot of times after it i feeled guilty... I still do sometimes...