This is for the benefit of everyone. Obviously I'm not healthy yet. I may never be healthy. But I'm not giving up. I'm learning to live with schizoid illness as a part of my life, but I'm not defining my life by my illness. Here are some of the things I have done in the past few months to get over my suicidal behavior and depression. 1) I got a diagnosis with medication and therapy. 2) I defined my life in terms I can accept. I am a man, I'm an American, and I'm a Christian, and in that order so I have no doubts where my loyalties lie. I'm an asexual. I'm a writer. I'm a certified genius. Those are the dimensions that make up me. 3) I made a promise to my friends and family never to attempt suicide again. I realized that I'm not the only one who's hurt by my actions and I owe the people I care about more than a big fat corpse. 4) I got the scars on my wrists tattooed in so that I'll always have a reminder of my promise. 5) I stopped thinking of myself as a victim. Sure I've got problems, but who doesn't? They can always be worse, so I make time to be hapy for what I've got and stop whining so much, because nobody else wants to hear it. 6) I made long term plans so that I have a purpose for my life. I'm about to graduate from college and go get a job. That's the scariest thing I've ever had to do, but I know based on my past successes that I can do it. These may not all be possible or desirable for all of you, but they are what's keeping me going right now, so I thought I should share them with you.