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Getting over someone?

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Active Member
Do you guys have any advice on this? The only way i'll get her back i think will be to get over her first. But months have passed to no avail. She consumes my life and I don't know how to love myself. I was planning on commiting suicide about a week ago, texted her a realy long goodbye note but i ended up at the hospital because i wanted to get better. I turned and spent my 21st birthday in the ER. Everything still sucks. I'm trying to enroll in school and stuff, but not for myself. The only goal i have is to be with her again. Its sad i know. Thanks for listening I'm sorry I can't get over this.
Is it possible to remain friends with her? I wish people would simply try to remain friends after a breakup rather than distancing from one another. If it is not possible, then you're going to have to find a new relationship and new friends separate from those associated with her. It will take time, but don't spend that time alone - spend it talking about your feelings with a therapist or close friends. Spend that time on something you're passionate about, like a sport, hobby, school subject - anything you're talented in and love doing. Focus on new people and take an interest in others, there is so much more for you in life than this, you're doing the right thing by explaining how you feel - just don't give up, it is an on-going process and you're doing fine.
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Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Hun I can't get over someone either.
Think the worse thing is to hope they'll come back, when everything is telling u they won't.

Only advice I can give is to take every day as it comes. Stop hoping and move on with your life. They've moved on with theirs and there aint anything we can do to get em back.

Time will heal the pain (or so I'm told), I hang on to that.


Active Member
Well its more complicated than that. Sorry for not explaining sooner. She told me theres a future for us if I can find happiness in myself and not rely on her as my only source of it. So now I'm in a period where its possible to fix everything and get my life together but It seems so difficult. You can't really love yourself over night.


I see a big problem here. You want to get over her so you can get her back? You're not going to truly get over the girl until you realise that you don't/can't have her back for whatever reason. Imagine the day you're finally over her, you go back to begging for her. Doesn't make sense at all, bro. Also, i'd hate to plant the seeds of doubt, but the whole 'you need to find happiness in yourself and not happiness in me' line is one of the telltale signs of a girl who cheated. Oh well, perhaps us guys have to learn to salvage the relationships with the girls who only cheat once.


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Ok that kind of makes sense, no one wants to be the whole reason for someone to live..it's too big a responsibility.

You need to find professional help to get to the root of your depression. Nag your doc until you get the help you need.


Well-Known Member
Sometimes in order to get the things you love, you have to let them go.

My wife left me once just over a year ago. I ended up at a state mental hospital for suicidal tendencies...blah blah blah...... I ended up trying to get my life back together, working, focusing on my child and such. By doing so I was no longer pursuing her and trying to get her back. I don't know why or how, but because of this, she started to pursue me. We are now back together and "doing fine".

That's just my experience.


Active Member
Who knows maybe I am just wasting my time and hers. I don't enjoy anything anymore plus I see no value in going on like this. Ive been with these forums for half a year with no improvement so i suppose i am a lost cause. I'm tired of hurting. Sorry everyone I failed you all.
You have not failed us. More importantly, you have not failed yourself! It's only been 6 months. I've been struggling for years. You just have to keep looking ahead. Things will eventually get better, maybe not 6 months or even 3 years from now, but things will improve. Can I promise that? No, but you have to have hope that it will. Just take it a day at a time. Or like I do and take it 1/2 half a day at a time. Cause anything more than that is just too overwhelming. I've stopped thinking about the future all together. I focus only on the moment. Sometimes this process of mine makes things a little bumpier, but I'm able to cope easier and pull thru. Hang in there a while longer, things will change.
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