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Getting really fed up with everything *excessive swearing*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kaos General, Jul 1, 2013.

  1. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Its been months since ive posted anything here, im more of a lurker these days i guess. Things have really been getting to me lately. I seem to be handing over control of my own fucking life to anyone and everyone. These assholes at the jobcentre have stuck me on the work programme which to be fair would warrant an entire blog of the issues i have with them, they are so bad that i literally feel the only way to escape them would be to get sectioned, why the fuck should any government department have that kind of fucking effect on anyone? Im being moved out of my flat without as much as a fuck you very much and as of yet have nowhere to go. My bi-polar is making me angry at everyone and everything at the minute to the point where im amazed i havent ended up getting arrested for just punching someone, i literally have to keep walking away constantly, which of course leads to god awful depression every single night due to the fact that i cannot deal with anger or aggression without it turning into depression. The one thing i loved more than anything has now just descended into one big clusterfuck where everyone is at war with each other, which has so far caused 4 people to retire from the terrorcore and hardcore scene, 2 of which was the indirect result of me.

    Its safe to say im a total fucking mess at the moment, and have been for a while if truth be known and not really sure how much longer i can keep pretending im ok just to make other people not worry about me
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just want you to know I'm here if you ever need to talk, or if you need an outlet to vent out the anger.
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You don't have to hold it in and go through this alone. You always have a place here. And maybe this is the time you need to reach out for some more professional help?
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can relate, I was so angry a while back, it was a miracle I didn't end up roasting someone....and for some odd reason, it got worse and worse...then all of a sudden I went back to normal...I hate having these damn phases....hang in there and vent away here :)
  5. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Haven't really had much success with professionals, they cant seem to be able to contain their excitement when their able to palm me off to the next professional. They tend to bring out the worst in me by prodding about things i really dont want to talk about, especially when its some clown who only bothers to see me once a week because hes paid to.

    The only person im even remotely willing to talk to, i cant because i refuse to put her through that. I mean im kinda walking on a tightrope as it is because im constantly taking everything out on her and i cant seem to stop myself, and its destroying me. Some of the things i say to her is just so fucked up and wrong, and its like its someone else thats saying it, because it certainly isnt me at all....i just want all this madness to stop and go back to how i was last year.
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think these professionals are clowns too but what are your options? You will just keep bottling until you eventually explode and end up somewhere you don't want to be. At least if you try and nip it in the bud now, even though the pros are idiots it might not cause you to explode. I don't say it lightly either cos I've had awful experiences of mental health in the nhs and I am an nhs worker. It may be worth a shot, they may surprise you.