Trying to be strong. Trying to be okay. Be well. Be positive. Ignoring negative thoughts and feelings. Trying to move on and do better in life. And when trying to make myself a better person, I get slammed with thoughts and urges to self harm or worse suicidal thoughts. Will this ever go away? I hate being like this. I want to move on with my life, improve it for the better, change things for the better, but my stupid mind won't allow me to. Whatever... hate dealing with this thing.