It's time to get things in order so my family does not have to deal with all the details; my will (which is pretty much nothing so that's a no-brainer), the cremation/burial plans. I am thinking cremation. I think it's cheaper than a burial. But then there are the ashes left for someone to have to get rid of. It really doesn't matter what they do with them they are just ashes. And since I am a useless person who really cares where those go. I really didn't want it to be this way. Still don't but I don't see any relief in sight. So staying is pointless. I will finally no longer be a burden to anyone. I don't know maybe after getting things in order I will have changed my mind but I doubt it. The daily struggle of making it just one more day is too much now. I'm getting old so it won't matter. My life is already over half way lived. It hasn't been all bad. There are a few good memories but not many. The only thing to figure out now is how. I don't want it to be messy. Sure wish I could just disappear, no mess no fuss & completely final. I been told suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But the problems don't seem temporary. The same thing just keeps happening over & over. So how is that temporary. Isn't doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome insanity?