I don't know how to do it. My mind is raging and keeps hauntig me with thoughts that hurt and disturb me. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm so angry, these thoughts are eating me up. I have to relive it over and over just to feel the pain again. Ive been laying awake (next to the bed, I don't want to sleep in a bed tonight) for hours, I have a pounding head ache and I'm so tired. I'm so overwhelmed with feelings and I don't know where to put them. I can't express myself, I'm just speechless, helpless, apathic. Only my mind won't shut up. I really don't know what to do right now, I feel too much. I just want it to stop. Unfortunately I was stupid enough to go on leave here right at the time that everything turned up side down for me, I have no where to go.