Had a realy hard night last night, my wall neighbour is a young girl and her boyfriend came over and they where doing it all night, I couldn't sleep. Again I decided that I'm going to do it on Tuesday. These programmed suicide are so common that I'm getting scared. I have decided roughly 30 times that I'm going to kill myself, I always buy the things, then I chicken out. Also 2 weeks ago I got drunk and when my parents came home I attacked my step father, I punched him a bunch of times, he is bigger then me, I know that he could have hurt me but he didn't.