Getting worse again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by j224, Oct 16, 2016 at 12:31 AM.

  1. j224

    j224 Member

    I wrote this a little bit ago hoping it would help my boyfriend understand how I was. It didn't, but at least I'm still here I guess.
    No matter how much they care
    Nothing they say will take the pain away
    All the care and empathy in the world won't cure my disease
    A toxic mind virus
    The effects felt every day
    Nervous morning
    Terrified of all the possibilities
    The voices don't help
    They tell me what people think
    They hate me
    They think I'm annoying
    They want me to leave them alone
    I should
    It all makes sense
    I understand
    Nothing is going right
    I thought I was doing okay before
    But now once again I'm drowning
    I'm so tired
    I just want to give up
    What is even worth it
    Certainly not myself
    So why am I still here
    I should just relax
    Stop thrashing in the water
    And just silently fall to the bottom
    No more screaming
    Never another line on an arm
    No more pain
    Quiet, cold but comfortable
    No last breath
    Just an end
    "So long and good night"
    Fracta likes this.
  2. I can relate to this very well. I hope you are doing OK right now.
    j224 likes this.
  3. j224

    j224 Member

    Thank you, I'm not doing that great. But I'm making it for the time being
  4. Same here. One day at a time for years. I want something more, but for now I'm still here. I really hope you stay.
    j224 likes this.