getting worse

[missykate]

I am slipping even deeper and nothing is helping. I missed my doc appointment and am becoming a member of society that I always silently judged. I guess that was a a view imposed by my parents and views held by society that developed into prejudice to others. Now that I am on the other end of the spectrum I feel even worse about myself for once having these views and for now being one of them.

I have failed every thing in my life. I have failed my parents, my friends, myself, and my society.

There is not even hope from the weather. It snowed today and for the last few weeks it has been only grey out.

My mom keeps threatening to kick me out for no real reason and there is nothing I can do about that.

I feel so overwhelmed and out of control. I just want to curl up and disappear. Why does life have to suck so bad? Can't I have a break from all the bad stuff that keeps happening? It just feels like someone/something is out to get me.

Sorry for the rambling. I just can't pinpoint anything and writing this is really hard so I am just going with whatever comes to mind first.

 

[LetItGo]

I wouldnt feel too much guilt for missing a single appointment, just get back on the horse and organise a new one you shouldnt punish yourself too much for it.

In terms of passing judgement - well we all do it. We often pass judgement based on floored assumptions from friends, family or the media. Now you feel part of the segment of society you might have silently despised, things seem a lot differant. Call it a learning experience It doesnt make you a bad person, it makes you more aware of the human experience, and what can happen to our fragile psychi.

You dont really go into "the bad stuff that keeps happening" too you. Let us know and we might be able to help a bit more with it.

Your in a bit of a rut atm, but youll find your way out of it.

 

[Darken]

I know exactly how you feel. It seems ive failed life too. I wish I could give you some advice and comfort but sadly im going throu the same thing as you. If you want to talk send me a pm.