I am slipping even deeper and nothing is helping. I missed my doc appointment and am becoming a member of society that I always silently judged. I guess that was a a view imposed by my parents and views held by society that developed into prejudice to others. Now that I am on the other end of the spectrum I feel even worse about myself for once having these views and for now being one of them. I have failed every thing in my life. I have failed my parents, my friends, myself, and my society. There is not even hope from the weather. It snowed today and for the last few weeks it has been only grey out. My mom keeps threatening to kick me out for no real reason and there is nothing I can do about that. I feel so overwhelmed and out of control. I just want to curl up and disappear. Why does life have to suck so bad? Can't I have a break from all the bad stuff that keeps happening? It just feels like someone/something is out to get me. Sorry for the rambling. I just can't pinpoint anything and writing this is really hard so I am just going with whatever comes to mind first.