Getting worse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JCC2011, Sep 22, 2011.

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  1. JCC2011

    JCC2011 Member

    I have planned what to do and when and in my mind when I set a date, I feel better, like a load has lifted and I have something to look forward to instead of this pain...
     
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Do you intend to follow through or is this a technique to give yourself breathing room?

    Its good to have something to look forward to but this is not a good target...
     
  3. JCC2011

    JCC2011 Member

    First time I have ever gone this far. I am very logical person so I usually plan things to help me carry them out. I feel like inside, I have been at my favorite teams game and they are getting slaughtered and I leave in the third quarter cause I have seen enough. Life feels like that, I have seen enough and want to leave early. Nothing gives me enjoyment, every day is a burden. I feel guilty for feeling this way but cannot turn it off, it is painful. I am sure all of you know this already. Being a robot until I am 70 and die of some hideous disease is not the way I want to go, nor is it fair to anyone around me, at least I can go on my terms, when I feel happy, not desperate. If I can get an hour of complete happiness, going out like that would be wonderful.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Alot of people feel a calmness when they have a plan made. It is like they have a bit of control back for themselves. You need to talk to someone now before that control gets out of hand hun Talk to your doctor and get some help okay hugs
     
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