First time I have ever gone this far. I am very logical person so I usually plan things to help me carry them out. I feel like inside, I have been at my favorite teams game and they are getting slaughtered and I leave in the third quarter cause I have seen enough. Life feels like that, I have seen enough and want to leave early. Nothing gives me enjoyment, every day is a burden. I feel guilty for feeling this way but cannot turn it off, it is painful. I am sure all of you know this already. Being a robot until I am 70 and die of some hideous disease is not the way I want to go, nor is it fair to anyone around me, at least I can go on my terms, when I feel happy, not desperate. If I can get an hour of complete happiness, going out like that would be wonderful.
Alot of people feel a calmness when they have a plan made. It is like they have a bit of control back for themselves. You need to talk to someone now before that control gets out of hand hun Talk to your doctor and get some help okay hugs