girl plays with my head, cant let her go

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Summer.Rain, May 14, 2016.

  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Need advice, im in love with this girl, she doesnt love me and told me so straight to the face
    she said she doesnt love me, but im a good friend to her.
    Now shes uses my emotions towards her, to get all sort of goodies, which i dont mind really, but shes using me and that i do mind. i want to loose her and brake contact, but i cant because i have feeling towards her and shes in a really bad shape (shes really poor, like she cant even afford all sort of needed food, and got really bad health issues too, and she got a kid that lives with her mom) and my heart wont let me abandon her.

    everyone told me "forget about her shes using you" - i know shes using me but i cant forget about her :(
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    This is the part of your post that concerns me, what are these goodies? And it does sound like she is using you. But at least she told you straight out that she does not love you. You deserve to be with someone who does love you. I am agreeing with ''everyone'' I think she is using. I hope you make the wise decision of not talking to her again.
  3. Khvde

    Khvde Well-Known Member

    Hi summer rain. I am sorry to hear this.

    What makes you think she is using you? Maybe she is just desperate. I am sorry i dont want to sound like an asshole but you said she is very poor. You said she cant even afford food. Maybe she is just very desperate right now.

    I feel like you should maybe talk to her about feeling used. Tell her how you feel. Let her explain her behaviour. If she acts like you deserve that kinda behaviour then leave her.
  4. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Thank you both
    I also brought this topic with my older sister, she got far more experience then i do, and shes a women so she can understand the mind game,
    she told me that i should let the girl chase me, and keep her there until i feel confident about any possibility for relations,
    basically i wont call her any more, or tell her how i feel towards her, and keep it all on ice for the long run, not to think about her too much, and not to restrict myself in any way,
    to focus completely on myself and what is good for me, and if that girl will ever change her mind, she will let me know.
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hi Summer, I can understand how you feel, having a good heart can get you used and taken advantage of. I know this because I'm the same way, I can't turn my back on anyone that's in need of help and many times to my detriment. I have no answer for you one way or the other. Just one thing though, would you help another human being that you had no romantic interest in who was in similar trouble? It's all in the motivation my friend. If the answer is yes, then I'd say go for it. If you're helping her in hopes of changing her mind, do you really want to win her like that.
    Hhhmmmm......I guess I did answer it :)
    Take care brother
    Khvde likes this.
  6. Khvde

    Khvde Well-Known Member

    Brian is so right. Specially the last part of his message.
    Brian777 likes this.