Give up reaching out

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pad, Feb 23, 2009.

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  1. Pad

    Pad Well-Known Member

    I give up on looking for help, I feel too guilty for it.

    I'm ashamed of who I am, i hate myself. Everyone thinks im 'such a nice guy'.
    Well i'm not, how the hell did you get to think that? Do you even know me?

    Im not intelligent, caring, kindhearted, handsome, sweet or any other words you like to use. I feel like a fraud when you say those things, it feels like a lie. Im not blind, I can see what i'm like, surely you know that

    Im a good listener? Is that just a polite way of telling me to fucking say something? Well sorry, I just rarely have anything to say, it's not like anything i think is of importance. Maybe im doing you a favour, I would hate to make you feel any worse. Im a worthless shell of a human, what's inside is nothing, its worse than that even. too much fucking guilt.

    i feel guilty about even writing this :sad:
     
  2. alexander01

    alexander01 Active Member

    Dont feel guilty.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You're right I dont know you or what type of person you are. But I do understand some of your pains and demons so that gives us some common ground. Not the best grant you. You have to alteast be a sincere person that feels somewhat lost with your feelings and problems or you wouldnt be here. So keep posting and sharing as much as you can so that others that share your pain can atleast reach out with their sincerety and try to help you through the tough spots. May not be the magic that you need to get you all the way there but it's something to help get you started on a better path. Then who knows what kind of person you can become. Please done give up and dont ever feel guilty about sharing when you need a friend or support.
     
  4. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey, you are still a human. you are worth something - you have a body, heart, mind, and soul. i care about you - simply because you are a human. there IS value in all life. . . .
    xxxx i am here anytime if you want to talk. . . .xxx
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Pad,
    I relate somewhat to what you say.. I too am always being told how nice of a person I am. But like you I just don't see it.. The thing that helps me is I genuinely care about others even though I can't stand my self..Thats why I reply to so many here on the forum.. If I can make a difference in just one persons life then I have accomplished something positive..I think that is partially why I isolate myself so much in real life. If you can't like yourself how can you think anyone else can like you..I stay locked away so I don't drag other people down with me.. I live at my sisters house and can see a difference in her since I moved in. She has started pushing her friends away and isolating herself to the house. She has a couple that haven't given up on her and get her to go out and do things but for the most part she has just given in to depression herself because of me!!!
     
  6. mmm28

    mmm28 Member

    dude, guilt is a bitch. it's probably what i've felt the most of in my life. hope you can find the strength to keep going- good luck.
     
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