Given up...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Aug 21, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Well i have given up....

    How can you let go when you care so much?

    Its hard... it really is hard to call it quits when deep down in your heart you want to go on but yet you know its something that you cant do..

    When is it time to give up?

    To me its when you have exhausted every fiber of yourself and you know that their is nothing left...

    Do i really have anyone that loves me?

    Well online there may be a few but then those are out in the World and many miles away..

    Yes of course Jesus and God love me but they are way up in the heavens and not here..

    What do you do when you need comfort or a hug and theres no one there to give you that??

    I will be going out tonight.. dont know if i will be coming back... Dont see any point really.. This oppertunity is hard to come by and the chance to really be alone is hard to get...

    I just dont see any point in anything anymore...

    I think i have finally lost all my sences , things that used to taste great no longer have a flavor , things ive seen are no longer beautiful, things i used to enjoy doing i dont really want to do or have pleasure in doing them..

    its gone.. i have no feeling .. i dont quit understand it.. is it because i am in a big depression or is it because of this cancer... i didnt even make the doc appointment today , did not wake up in time... Tend to sleep more..

    Really missing people a lot... for real it hurts but now i dont even have that feeling. its like something inside me has died.. its like theres nothing there...

    Can you really die of a broken heart? Can people really greive themselves to death? perhaps thats whats happening with me right now... I am so hurt , so much in greif .. I lost Auston , got no reason to go to Florida now.. my older brother doesnt really care , my younger brother doesnt really care either .. i lost my mom... and trying to hold onto her was easy when someone else shared her birthday.. me giving gifts and cards was like me giving it to my mom and sort of was like keeping her with me or rather her memory with me...

    I have lost the love of two people who have meant the world to me and reminded me of my mom... i really have lost it all.. i cant fight when i am hurting to much.. one needs to have strength to fight and i cant win.. theres no way to win when i can fell in my body i am losing.. you can feel it.. im greiving to much cause i have lost too much..

    It was me.. it was all me.. i trusted when i should have known better..

    Should i stay online here and chat to keep my mind off things or just go on out and forget everything.. i feel nothing.. i feel numb inside.. i cant even cry anymore.. theres no more tears left..

    My heart is broken and torn and i am grieving.... theres no better oppertunity then tonight, so why am i online here? perhaps trying to find a reason to stay? perhaps not? ....
     
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I think your trying to find a reason to stay. I'm sure there's many reasons, you just haven't found all of them yet.

    Keep in there and keep staying strong.
     
  3. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    White Dove,
    Oh sweetheart I am so sorry your feeling that far down. I think your trying to find a reason to stay and I hope that you did. If you were to go there would be many people who would miss you. The loss of taste I do believe is from the cancer. My aunt had cancer and she lost her sense of taste too.
    Yes, I do believe people can die from a broken heart but only when they don't take care of themselves properly. I am so sorry that you lost someone else you love. I know how had that can be. I am here if you wish to talk. All you have to do is send me a pm and I will get back to you as soon as I get it. Take care sweetheart and I love you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss

    With Love,
    Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss
     
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