Given Up.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ScarsandHopes, Dec 20, 2008.

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  1. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    It's hard to come to terms with reality, I've known that for awhile now..

    I'm stuck, the cranks of the clock have stopped turning. Although I'm anxious to experience the next day, and the one after that, and so on; I can't possibly live like that for a lifetime. And that's the reality, the only thing keeping me alive is what MIGHT happen the next day. And I'm so tired of knowing that. I'm falling behind in the race called life.

    My headaches are getting worse, my body is aching every second now, because of physical depression. I can't continue throughout the day anymore. About halfway through I just want to give up and go to sleep, and I can't live like that. I'm sorry, but the train is coming soon, and I'm the cow staring at the lights.

    There's just no motivation any more.. No edge to life. And nothing to live for. All I have is hope, but nothing comes from false hope but scars. =/
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't give up scarsandhopes. You still have hope which is very good. :hug:
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're feeling so blue!

    Can you think what started you to feel so blue this time? I say this time because I'm no stranger to the highs and lows that depression takes you on. It's accumulative and really shitty.

    PM me if you ever need a friend.

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello Scarsandhopes,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are still feeling so low :(
    perhaps you should see your doctor about the body aches and migraines? You shouldn't have to suffer like this. I'm always here if you need a friend :hug:
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Please don't give up. It might seem like things are hard right now but depression offers highs and lows, and it would be tragic to end it now and not know what might happen tomorrow.
    Maybe go see a doctor about depression and the physical problems you've been experiencing. This may help you feel slightly better and that things are moving forward in a positive manner. :hug:
    We are all here for you. Don't give up.
  6. i believe theres no such thing as false hope, if youre finding something that makes you think, maybe one day it can change, then you ought to focus on that. i hate how i feel these days, its devastating, but im not giving up, you can never give up. fighting it is the only thing that can give you that opportunity to make things better, just keep trying, keep hoping, keep thinking, keep moving and one day, something will happen. thats my hope, theres nothing false about that.
  7. ScarsandHopes

    ScarsandHopes Well-Known Member

    I keep hearing "Go to the doctor", and I know I should, but I can't.

    My life dream is to join the military, and I've fucked up so much that I have to do everything right from here on in. It's been keeping me alive, my dream. That's why I've been off my meds for a year, haven't gone to the doctor in a year. I can't show that I've had any side-effects. =/
  8. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: Even though you struggle to see it you can get past this. Why can't you go to the doctor? Can you take anyone with you for support? Why did you come off your meds? There are different sorts of treatment and medications etc for depression, it doesn't need to mean your life is over. :hug:
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