Giving in again

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by immadeofrainbow, Aug 31, 2010.

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  1. immadeofrainbow

    immadeofrainbow Well-Known Member

    So hi, yeah.
    Until Recently, I hadn't harmed for a good nine months, but about a six weeks back a very unfortunate event occured that involves me directly.
    I guess, it's just really distorted my view on things and messed it all up, and thrown me a back. An old friend called up and we started smoking rocks again, I stared burning my skin a few days after that and cutting soon after, I don't want to, I really hate that i'm pathetic enough to give in, but it's like the urge to itch a nat bite or to cover your mouth when you sneeze, I just can't ignore it.
    Every morning I make a promise that This day is the last, and I never stick to it, why should I? The promise is only to myself.
    Im not religious in the slightest but sometimes, it feels like the 'devils' in me. Once you let him in you cant get him out, you cant burn him out, you cant cut him out, He wont take any notice, why would he? No one wants to be homeless.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    How you feel is how I felt when I was in your situation. Except I knew he was in me because I asked him to be there from a very young age. But there is hope friend. I found mine, and I am never letting it go. Just know that you never have to fight these battles alone. Blessings.. :hug:
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