Giving it one more day and then...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by diseased, May 18, 2008.

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  1. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    Woke up this morning with thoughts of suicide. I can't stand being hated by everyone especially my own family and the people I used to think were my friends. Their cruelty has been unreal. Probably deserved though.

    Of course no one hates me more than myself. I hate the sound of my voice. I can't look in a mirror. Nothing I've done has changed a god damn thing and I'm just tired of trying. I'm tired of being this living joke. It's like I'm only alive for people to abuse and I don't serve any other purpose.

    Fuck this. I'll try to shake these thoughts off if I can. It's still early. But I don't know what I'll do today. I have no friends left to visit and nothing to do. It's back to the same shit again. Nothing matters and no one cares.

    I can't live like this anymore. There's no reason to.
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    theres always a reason hun, i care
  3. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    This might not be possible or really hard for you right now, but try moving away. Try starting new. Find a new group of friends.
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You still care because you took the time to share that with us. The the community here cares and we want to help you get past this. Tell us what is going on and lets see if we cant get you past tomorrow and work on the next couple of says to follow. Let us help you see the hope your looking for.
  5. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    Well the day is almost over. No one returned my phone calls and they're not going to. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel trapped in this shitty apartment but I can't go outside with my eyes all full of tears.

    I don't have a solid plan for what I'm going to do next. Everything fell apart so quickly this time or maybe I just didn't notice it until it was too late. Now I've lost control and I'm not sure what I might do.
  6. Panopticon

    Panopticon Member

    I definitely feel your pain. *hugs*
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    If you feel that bad you need to take that 1st step and go to the hospital. You might want to write down your thoughts, this way you don't freeze up at the hospital and forget what you want to share.
    You are definatly not by yourself. There are alot of people here that feel partially what you do. Everyone is different. I would rather you took those steps than to have you harm yourself. Think it over and then give it a go.:chopper:Stranger1
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