Giving things away and barely aware of it

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by warrabinda, Jan 17, 2011.

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  1. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    I had a nightmare. it wasn't a nightmare actually until i woke up. I'm just reliving things over and over again. I wake up and realise and that's when it's awful.
    I go through phases of giving things away and cancelling plans for the future include post grad study and plans to travel because I just can't see myself going through with it. I'm barely aware of it and I'm sure if I poked at it I'd realise what it really means.
    does anyone else do this? Last time I went through this I gave soem valuable things away and i regretted it. but giving things away makes me feel better, it makes me feel that I'm closer to the end, even if i have no solid plans. It makes me feel like I'm doing something practical.
    I am not going to enjoy it anyway.
     
  2. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    hmm, ive kinda been pokeing and well i know i have no right to live but ...um the only thing ill give away is a punch in the face , fuk people i hate them , they keep me in this mess

    anyway my impresion of what u wrote is that u have significant emotional instability for planning trips to planning death
    ponder on it and defenetly go to a doc
     
  3. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    yeah people can be horrible, but i have a few people in my life whom i pity for knowing me lol...
    i mainly donate stuff anyway, that way it doesn't raise suspicions...
     
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    It probly isn't relatible but I can go through the same with, due to a lack of motivation/ambition. I'll do barely anything because hey what's the point if I'll be dead in <insert time frame>? Maybe it's why I can't concentrate at school...I just don't see the point in doing it if I'll be dead before it ends etc.

    I don't have an awful lot of things to give away anyway. I could only count a few things I've had for years that sit in cupboards or maybe my laptop/various aquariums? Those things are usually of more worth financially then emotional possession wise or something.

    For some people it can be an indicator that if they're giving away prized possessions, death may soon follow :unsure:.
     
  5. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    warrabinda, I've done the same lots of times. Like you, I suspect it really is more than spring cleaning or general clutter busting

    It's more a psychological purge of all the superflous baggage which acculminates in life every six months or so. Initally, it leaves me euphoric, ready to concentrate on what really matters the most to me: friends, gf, family etc. But the main reason I find myself sorting and throwing things out is readiness

    Like some kind of multicoloured hot air balloon waiting to rise several thousand feet into the atmosphere, I don't want to be tethered to the ground by lines and weight. A room full of belongings is often a dead weight with regards suicide

    You say you donate stuff to avoid having to discuss why you're throwing things out. Do you think others would be worried if they saw you going through another 'phase'? Are their feelings more important than yours? You obviously care a lot about what others think of your behaviour. How does that affect you? Does it make you hesitate before doing something dramatic?
     
  6. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    You say you donate stuff to avoid having to discuss why you're throwing things out. Do you think others would be worried if they saw you going through another 'phase'?
    I don't think in general most people are well educated on suicidology. my friends think it's bizarre. one friend however did notice what was going on and asked me straight out if something was wrong. i went into auto pilot and just blamed stress and that i was just going through a phase... she wasn't convinced and has been a bit wary. i kinda look back and realise hmm a lot of them times it's been a silent call for help. In fact i'm almost greatful they don't know it's a signifier of suicide because i'd be humiliated.

    Are their feelings more important than yours?
    equal.
    we're all equal, after all. but yes i put more emphasis on their feelings. they're good people who deserve to be cared about.


    You obviously care a lot about what others think of your behaviour. How does that affect you?


    Yes, I'm scared of doing something I'll regret i.e. asking for help. I've felt like this for a long time and I'm terrified (maybe secretly hoping because it would make me less guilty) that people will tire of it and abandon me.

    Does it make you hesitate before doing something dramatic?

    Yes as I have not gone through with it thus far because it woud upset or annoy people. and my parents. and possibly dog.

    I do however enjoy donating stuff simply because someone else will have happiness in things.
     
  7. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    You're definitely correct, that giving away prized possessions is a sign of suicidality. In fact, that sign is officially included among several at a suicide site as a warning sign of impending suicide.

    In that case, your despondency seems worse than mine, as in my situation I still keep my prized possessions. There are some books I not only keep but read every day repeatedly. They give me meaning.

    The problem in my situation is actually exasperation, that is, the emotion I feel at constantly failing at my goal. How long can I persevere?

    A person feels at their worst when it's utter hopelessness. But in my case, my candle-flame is still a flicker, a very small flicker, but enough to keep my myself alive. So my emotional state is exasperation. And its only counter-balance is perseverance.
     
  8. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    Yep... been through that once and am having another bout of it now and everyone keeps asking me to stop! My nieces and nephews have been very happy lately, so much techy/gadget stuff has gone their way!
     
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