I've so fucked up college The fucked up thing is im not even bothered, i've never really seen my life going beyond 20 so i aint really bothered. I've wanted to quit for ages and looks like im gonna get kicked out with only a few months to go till i would get my qualification. No one fully understands how hard i find it to concentrate. It took me bloody 6 hours to write a bloody paragraph, now i have 5 that are overdue and need to be in next week and i haven't even started. Im so fucking screwed! I'm seriously ready to give up on everything, including life. Every fucking day its the same thing over and over again. If i feel im getting better something happens and im back feeling like shit. I can't sleep at night. The same thing is happening to me, can't get to sleep unless im on skype :unsure: I don't get it. Im so physically tired. Everyday im tired even i've had a long sleep. The i have to be doing coursework. I cant fucking take it. If i get kicked out then i gotta get a job, how the hell can i get a job if i cant do a fucking bit of coursework!! Fuck it! I don't even wanna leave my room anymore. How fucked up is that! Even when i do get to sleep i get visions of people carving the word 'hate' into my back. One person in that vision was from here. Ever had a vision of 3 people here killing themselfs right in front of me. Im too fucking scared to go to sleep now, thats why i've been staying up on skype all night because it keeps me awake. Today was allright, felt a bit down as per usual. Talked to someone and well kinda went a bit down but thats cool. Fell asleep then woke up to a VERY nice message left on MSN for me by a guy. It was soooooo damn sweet!! then 5 mins later i feel like shit because of some prat. How many times do i have to say i don't want to be involved in that situation!! every fucking day its the same thing. He knows i got my own shit to deal with and its really starting to piss me off. Im seriously gonna give up, i told some here i wouldn't die. I don't think i can keep to that. I truely don't think i can, not anymore. I just can't fuck :cry: Fuck it. Fuck it all. Fuck my life. Fuck all the shit i said to other people. I can't keep what i said. I know deep down i can't. I just know whats gonna happen. I KNOW IT.