Giving up now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by deadpan, Jun 7, 2009.

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  1. deadpan

    deadpan Account Closed

    I dont post here much but I do read alot of posts and can comprehend alot to what other members post.

    After alot of soul-searching, I have come to the end now myself I feel. My eye sight is getting worse and I am only 28. I have a speach inpedement too and all these things get me down a lot more now.

    I have no job, I am too scared to get one as I do not want people to laugh at me like they did in my old job I did before as a housekeeper at a hotel.
    I have thought about this long and hard, and because of my sight, I can no longer program computers in my spare time which was technically keeping me going and stopping me from making this choice.

    Now I have lost that love, I have nothing else to live for, and have come to end of the road. I went into hospital with depression in 2003 but since then things got better - now they are worse than before, and every day I wake up I wish I never did.

    I just feel like everything is being taken away from me, and I know my sight is not my fault, but its crushed any confidence I had im myself. I am at a loss, and this is one place I decided to turn

    Peace - Pete W xx
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Please don't give up!

    I know losing your sight is scary. I've never had any sight, so although I can't relate to losing it gradually, I know what it's like not to have it.

    You don't have to give up your dream of programming computers. You can still do it. I know several people who are blind and work in the field of computer programming, and that's what I'm going to school for starting in the fall. There are lots of programs out there to help you ... programs to either make everything on the screen larger so you can see it, or to make your computer talk and read everything to you.

    If you ever need to talk, please PM me.
  3. deadpan

    deadpan Account Closed

    Thank you for the advice Wild Cherry I appriciaite it alot.

    I have thought about the programs I can use as you stated... its hard to even type this as im having to squint to look at the words as looking normally they are blury.

    I really wish there was more I could do... its not just the sight its the other things too that get to me, but I feel I am running out of options
  4. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time but please don't give up. Things may seem hopeless at the moment but you never know what the future holds.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.
    Don't give up..we're here for you!
    Keep talking if it helps xx
  6. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    You have a very tough road to travel. Wanting to give up and actually giving up are two different things. Every person here has wanted to give up, but we haven't yet done so. Your pain is very real, but you should not try to predict the future. Always be ready for something good to happen, because it just might.
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I do too.
    Just know that you're not alone. I feel the exact same way.
    There is a place for each of us, you can find yours in all it's seeming impossibility. The end does not have to come by your own hand.
    We're here for you :hug:
  8. neno1

    neno1 Well-Known Member

    Pete, no go, u b okay, Im new here and I saw ur message, no go, things will get better, Im crying at reading some of the things on this site, U CAN GET THROUGH THIS, Im a living testimony to living through a pile of shit, sexual abuse, rape, abduction, failed suicides attempts, jumping off bridges attempts, Im here for a reason and u r too, it may take u a while to find it but, ur here on earth for a reason. What doesnt kill ya, can only make ya stronger, neno1, xxx
  9. neno1

    neno1 Well-Known Member

    deadpan, neno1 here sweetie, r u still here with us, xx
  10. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome...I want you to stick around awhile. I thought it was hopeless for me for different reasons, but it must be similar. And this forum helped greatly.

    Give it a chance...and, I can second what 'JUSTA' posted above!
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