I have made a goal this year to try something different with myself that I never had before. And that was to go out and try to make friends. Okay, not so much as literally make friends, but try to make some sort of civilized acquaintance with strangers and well essentially see where it goes. Of course it all failed on me with a few heartaches and headaches. However, I told myself to not give up. And so those who had stuck around longer than others, I tried hard to fight for to keep. But nobody seem to fight for me. Get it? It's like I was the one always doing the pursuing or complimenting, working on my end to try to get their attention to maintain the relationship whatever that may have been. It's not like I expected anything....okay well why do anything without expecting at least hope???? I know I'm pathetic, but I tried hard to see positive and have some fake sort of self esteem. I had this belief that all people were self-absorbed, rotten, and mean. I tried to go out to see if this was true. It was. I got hurt. Anyway, after the rant above, I am wondering if I should just give up? Is it ok to be alone for the rest of my life and be independent and lonely??? Will I be ok without people? I was so depressed without people, I'm angry and confused with....and now sometimes regret and hurt.... How do people do it? Keep up with their social circle? How do they put up with the many egotistical, selfish, rude people that people are? Are people really willing to put up with this just for the sake to be able to say, "I have friends?" So sad. Why can't people just be understanding, nonjudgmental, caring?? Is it really that hard to be human?? Thanks for letting me rant.