Might as well. I kept going this past year because I thought things were getting better and that maybe my death would hurt those who care. But I was informed Friday that I haven't been performing well at work and termination is soon. So I give up. it is sad because I now have a life outside of work that I like. But during the last bit of unemployment I vowed to die if I didn't find a job and narrowly missed the window during which I was to suicide. I got this present job. But if I was to return to unemployment I would rather suicide than find another job in which I get the same message. So I'd better be prepared. I tried to call my therapist - I hadn't talked to her in a year - and she's on a month long holiday. But if I am to suicide she wouldn't know and the pdoc wouldn't know - I'd just be another former patient. so who cares. I might as well end and so have been trying to mentally prepare myself all weekend for the end of my life. Don't say things will get better again because they won't. Maybe if they do at all, it would a short upbeat and things will go down anyway. I hurting and really scared at the moment. Ready to buy the final ingredients. Hope they cremate me and scatter my in the woods somewhere.