I give up. I'm giving up with trying to have a good life, as nothing ever goes right for me. This might sound like depressed moaning, and you'd be partly right, but the thing is it's more like a statement of fact. And the facts are like this: I have a friend, a best friend really, and she is the personification of the classic screw up yet everything is going well for her. Let me just explain what I mean. She, we'll call her BJ for now, is lazy, not very clever, and wants to so nothing but drink and fuck. BJ has a degree, a job, a girlfriend, and prospects. BJ has her own house and a brand new car with £5000 in the bank. I, on the other hand, am dedicated, intelligent and always trying to better myself. I'm unemployed, unqualified, single, and going nowhere fast. I still live with my mother and can't afford even a 5 year old car. Or anything else for that matter. On top of all that, BJ has only been out as gay for about 2 months and in that time, she has managed to ingratiate herself into the gay community. Find loads of gay friends. Get a girlfriend. And become a valued member of the community. Meanwhile, I've been out as gay for 7 years and in that time I have made one gay friend, had 3 girlfriends, and am pretty much unknown as a member of the community. My entire life has been like that. Everyone around me doing better for themselves than I do. So long story short, I just give the fuck up. I don't want to be here anymore, don't want to pretend to be happy anymore, don't want to talk anymore, I just want to be not feeling this anymore and I can't think of anyway to make that happen.