I have been really trying hard to keep it together to carry on when im depressed iv also tried to drop what happened in the past and iv been trying to move foward but when i do something always gets in the way then i end up feeling like giving up which leads me to how im feeling right now. I feel like just giving up on life or just sleeping it away and im angry at everyone including myself. no matter how hard i try i just cant let go of my bad experiance i had 7 months ago. I was beaten up it was partly my fault i didnt run i just stood there like a dummy and let it happen. Ever since iv said to myself i wont let it happen ever again.Im a big guy for my age of 23 i weigh to much iv been trying so hard to get fit and build my strength but i just cant do it. On top of that my mums worrying me to go to work with my dad which is the thing i hate the most he is a electrician and i hate that line of work for years i had to go with him to work and the thought of going with him makes me cringe. for 21 years of my life all i could do was rest becuase of the accident i had when i was 2 years old but thats ok now as i went in to hospital and they fixed me. up untill then iv never been able to get exersize and do normal every day things. Also in 3 weeks time i face going to jail for a act of self defence the ammount of times iv been in and out of court is soul crushing and if i end up going to jail for 3 months i think i will just give up for good. through out my childhood and school years i had a rough time in and out of school and iv never settled down anywhere we just keep moving ever since my sister passed away i guess my dad cant settle down in 1 place. i havent been a saint in the past iv done my share of things wrong. I wish that life would get better or end either way im not bothered just as long as 1 of those things happen.