I just want to die. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for more than half my life and it's not going away or getting better. I am so pathetically alone; I haven't even dated anyone in 7 years, and I know that isn't going to change either. I turned to drugs and alcohol to help me cope and now my health is bad enough that I can't keep using or drinking without really unpleasant side effects. So I've lost my only escape from this darkness. There's no reason to go on. I'm just posting so that I feel less alone when I die. I can't stand to keep living anymore.