I'm new here and hope I'm doing this right. I have been suicidal for years, sometimes more actively suicidal than others, but really without the will to live. I had cancer treatment, and sometimes regret that I went through it. I'm having heart problems now. I have refused having devices implanted that would keep me alive. I am in my 50s. I see no future ahead. There is no one who would take much notice if I were gone. I'm tired. I just wish it was all over.