Giving Up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Liatris, Jan 5, 2016.

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  1. Liatris

    Liatris Member

    I'm new here and hope I'm doing this right. I have been suicidal for years, sometimes more actively suicidal than others, but really without the will to live. I had cancer treatment, and sometimes regret that I went through it. I'm having heart problems now. I have refused having devices implanted that would keep me alive. I am in my 50s. I see no future ahead. There is no one who would take much notice if I were gone. I'm tired. I just wish it was all over.
     
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  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I'm sorry that you feel so bad right now. Why do you see no future for yourself?
     
  3. Liatris

    Liatris Member

    I'm in my 50s. I have health problems, the invisible kind. People have trouble remembering that I am sick and in fact, at risk for sudden death due to heart problems. They can ask about my latest hospital stay in one breath, and ask a favor from me in the next. I am a cancer survivor. There have been plenty of other health issues. Doctors ask me about my support system. I do not have one. My two sisters, my brother and I all hate each other. My mother is 87 and can't be a support to me much longer. People who I thought were friends made it clear that they were just the opposite (toward the end of last summer). I was so hurt, I don't think I can even try again. My long-ago marriage was a joke, and there hasn't been another relationship since.

    I can find no pleasure, and I can't imagine that is going to change in the time I have left.
     
  4. Liatris

    Liatris Member

    Well, that was interesting.
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am sorry to hear that people have treated you badly. Despite your health problems, do you think you would want to carry on if you had a support network around you? It's never too late to change and start again. Hope things improve for you soon.
     
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