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Giving up.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by broken_Angel01, Sep 23, 2007.

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  1. Ive recently just moved away from everything i know... ive moved from one place to a completely new house... and ever since ive moved here i havent been happy?

    i didnt and still dont have that many friends i have people around me that say they care but i know they really dont.. i feel compleletly trapped within the walls of this house.. no one to turn to anymore.

    the new college i started? i wish id never even inroled in.. i never thought bullying happened in college i thought it was just a school thing and people we're more adult in college... but its all so wrong.. i fear going into college everday its the same thing... with them constantly staring at me like im some kind of freak.. i dont know whats so wrong with me...

    i keep myself to myself but it never really works.. people still notice me.. and i still fear them everything i see them looking at me or any time they are near me.. should i really be this scared?

    thing at home are not much better with my dad.. i dont know what ive done for him to hate me the words he screams at me every time he seems me i just feel like they kill me a little bit more every time he says them.. he hates me.. and i hate me...
    im ashamed of always having to hide the marks and making up excuses for him..
    i hate the smell of alchol on his breathe... everytime he speaks to me.. it makes me feel sick..

    i want to move out but i cant afford to i can barely afford to do anything... and im too scared of living him...

    i really need some friends.. people i can trust and feel for.. who are not going to hurt me
  2. mango_goose

    mango_goose Active Member

    Hey ya can always have friends on here :D we might not be able to fix everything but we can be here to listen!!!!

    I dont know anything bout college, but i know in high school i was bullied a fair bit i hated it ( i have big gums n they used to call me mr ed and i also used to have seizures nearly everyday)
    can you find people there that are into the same stuff you are into??
    I dont think anyone deserves to be bullied no matter what the look like or how they dress or whatever.... but people wanna feel better than other people so they have to put ya down... it sucks but what doesnt kill ya can only make ya stronger.... It might not feel like your stronger right now but eventually you will wake up n realize that your better than them... and then ya can piss on emLOL
  3. i honestly dont know anyone there.. ive tried to find out about people but im just to insecure to do.. i dont want to be a college drop out but it feels like thats whats going to happen nothings been the same since ive moved... i feel like ive lost everything ive ever had.. i cant even see myself having a future anymore
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Is there any way to remove yourself from the situation at home? Things may be better without that pressure. You would no longer need to hide things and feel afraid about others finding out. Perhaps you could transfer schools at the end of the semester. I hope things change for the better for you. :hug:
  5. my mum died of cancer a few years back.. i promised her id take care of my dad and evern since she past he started hating me and drinking and telling me its my fault i know he doesnt mean to hurt me the way he does and lose his temper with me.. i could never leave him right now id been to overcome with guilt and feel as if i am failing my mum if i did..

    i cant really change college there is only one that would accept me due to zip code..
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