Giving up

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by NicoleS, Jan 12, 2008.

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  1. NicoleS

    NicoleS Member

    I am new to the forum. But here is a little about what is going on.

    Last night I took every klonopin I had in the house to get some sleep. My days and nights have been very mixed up lately.

    I woke up really depressed and have decided to give all my worldly possesions away.

    I have a few people coming over today to look at some stuff.

    I know this isnt a good sign, but I have been in the mental health system for four years and I was doing good for a while, but someone screwed up my meds and I have been without them for about three weeks now.

    I am trying to cut all attachments so it will be easier to overcome that pesky will to survive thing. Plus my apartment will be cleaner! heh.

    There are some people that I know will be upset when I die. But life doesnt stop for anyone and they will eventuall move on. I have three children and am most worried about them. But they havent lived with me for two years now. So. I am sure it wont be that hard on them.

    I realize there is nothing anyone can do to help me and that I am utterly alone in this world.

    I just want to get it over with. Be done and at some kind of peace. The emotional pain is extremely hard to live with and I dont want to do it for the rest of my life. I cant see a life where I struggle everyday and pray every night for some god to take me. I am fairly young and it seems that I have a lot of pain and suffering in front of me.

    I am really tired. In body, mind, spirit. Nothing brings relief and I have given up on the 'tomorrow will be better' because for the most part its not.

    I hope I can get rid of my stuff. I am giving it away for free, so it seems it should just go. People like free stuff, right?
     
  2. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    Hi Nicole!
    Well first of all, Im Lilichipie, ive sent you a message before. I saw that you are bipolar, just like me so I guess from that point, I can maybe try to understand and maybe help you better?.



     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Nicole. Sorry that your life is so difficult right now. I think that you should keep on living, at least for the sake of your beautiful children. You are their mother and should be in their lives. Please hang on.
     
  4. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    how are you doing? i hope u didnt do something irreversible. please let us know how its going
     
  5. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    Nicole, please tell us how you are doing. We are all worried about you. Everyone on SF suffer just like you, some pretty horrendously.
    But we all have common denominator, that is we keep fighting together.
    Please keep fighting with us. Please let us know you are OK.

    -Hank-
     
  6. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    ANYONE heard about NicoleS?
    this is getting really worrying!
     
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please Nicole, let us know how you are doing. We're worried about you hun.
     
  8. kitai16

    kitai16 Well-Known Member

    I just had a look and the profile says their last activity was this morning (early hours).
     
  9. NicoleS

    NicoleS Member

    Sorry to make anyone worry. I was without my computer for a few days and all I had was my phone. Its time consuming to post on my phone.

    I am doing ok. I am back on Invega and Zoloft. Starting Lamictal next week. Klonopin and Zydis prn.

    Thank you for all of you replies.
     
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