I can't do this anymore, its gotten too hard. My mood will pick up only to crash back down into unbearable lows. I feel so bad for the loved ones i'm going to leave behind, but I just can't take this shit nomore. I've tried reaching out for help but its not working, i'm not trusting enough to be as honest as I need to be for the help to work. I feel as though there is no other option, I need this pain to end and fast. Its something that i've been contemplating for so long now, but its getting even more of a struggle to hang on. My closest friend, one who has helped me through so much shit despite living several hours away, realises that i'm at breaking point and that this is something i need to do, and im so glad shes not trying to talk me out of this any longer, cause that only makes it harder to do I dont know when i'm going to go through with it yet, but hopefully soon.