i dunno how i feel anymore, leaving the only other 'home' ive hand on here. dt was like the one place i could go when i was in trouble but being hurt so many times by the ones i would do anything for. i just cant anymore. i dunno what to believe or what to think. i dont have much trust for anything in this damned world. yesterday i was willing to protect and defend someone here til the end today i am not able to get out of my own way. i should be happy i passed my classes, i got thru christmas but deep inside am bleeding...its hurts deeper than it ever has. pain is oozing from the darkness of my soul; it doesnt take much to throw me over the edge anymore. i have never had a journal here before but starting to think the rest of the site would be better off if i retreated to a place where i cant hurt anyone or take up their time, best used for ones they can actually help.