I'm new to this, but ive been so strong for a long time, a couple of months, and i feel like im slipping, i went to the store and bought blades. i feel like im fighting a losing battle. im nothing but a disappointment to everyone around me, in two months i turn 18, and ill be homeless, i based my future around my boyfriend of 2 years, going through hell and back. there's so many thoughts running through my head, we would have been parents, and i lost the baby, either from having surgery or taking to many vicodins and over dosing, i didnt know i was pregnant! and i live with it every day, id be a mommy, and i took my own childs life, and hurt the father bad. im barely holding on, and i feel like im losing control. me and my boyfriend are broken up, he knows of my past, and hes helped me alot, but the only reason im still breathing is because he gave me hope, i feel like im losing everyone i love.