This looks like a good place. There's no one among my friends or family that I can be frank with about my suicidal feelings. At least I have family and friends.
Hard to know where to start, or how much to say in a "hello" message. I'm a 51 year-old gay man, living in a small and remote California town, and have been struggling with fairly severe depression and other mental health issues my whole life.
After a pair of attempts about 25 years ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't kill myself until my parents died. I'm still waiting. I just want to ruffle as few feathers as possible when I pass. Now my Mom has Alzheimer's, and I'm starting to realize that *she* was really the only one I was desperately afraid of hurting. I'm starting to rationalize that my Dad and sister will get along just fine in the long run.
It's raining today. I wouldn't say I'm in immediate crisis, but I am losing the sense of obligation that has kept me alive. I generally feel like the whole world either ignores or hates me, and rightly so. My life has been a failure, and I just want to go away quietly. It takes me a day or two to be able to leave my house for any reason.
There are no professional services here. I live in poverty, at least enough so that can't afford to fix my car, get help for my toothache or get simple medical help for myself or my dog, let alone therapy. I've had plenty of therapy in the past, anyway. I'm hoping that having a place like this provides some relief. Thanks again for being here.
Hard to know where to start, or how much to say in a "hello" message. I'm a 51 year-old gay man, living in a small and remote California town, and have been struggling with fairly severe depression and other mental health issues my whole life.
After a pair of attempts about 25 years ago, I promised myself that I wouldn't kill myself until my parents died. I'm still waiting. I just want to ruffle as few feathers as possible when I pass. Now my Mom has Alzheimer's, and I'm starting to realize that *she* was really the only one I was desperately afraid of hurting. I'm starting to rationalize that my Dad and sister will get along just fine in the long run.
It's raining today. I wouldn't say I'm in immediate crisis, but I am losing the sense of obligation that has kept me alive. I generally feel like the whole world either ignores or hates me, and rightly so. My life has been a failure, and I just want to go away quietly. It takes me a day or two to be able to leave my house for any reason.
There are no professional services here. I live in poverty, at least enough so that can't afford to fix my car, get help for my toothache or get simple medical help for myself or my dog, let alone therapy. I've had plenty of therapy in the past, anyway. I'm hoping that having a place like this provides some relief. Thanks again for being here.